Apologize Jokes

Stalin is addressing the people. He announces:
Comrades, I have here a telegram from Trotsky. He states, "You were right and I was wrong. You are the true heir to Lenin. I should apologize."
From the front row a (comrade) tailor rises and calls, "Comrade Stalin!"
Stalin replies, "In our great free socialist state, even a tailor may address the head of state. What is it, Comrade Tailor?"
The tailor replies, "You`re reading it wrong."
"What," says Stalin, "what is wrong? How should I read it? Come up here and tell us."
The tailor reads: "You were right and I was wrong? *YOU* are the true heir to Lenin? *I* should apologize?"

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife
1.0. I soon noticed
that the new program began unexpected child processing
that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other
programs and now
monitors all other system activity. Applications
such as Poker Night
10.3, Football 5.0, Golf 7.5, Barhopping 6.9 &
Racing 3.6 no longer run,
crashing the system whenever selected
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
attempting to run
my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going
back to Girlfriend 7.0, but
the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
Please help!
Thanks,
A Troubled User.
______________________________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade
from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it
is just a Utilities more...

I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job-George Bush, during his first Presidential campaign"This is a great day for France!"-Richard Nixon, while attending Charles De Gaulle's funeral"Now, like, I'm President. It would be pretty hard for some drug guy to come into the White House and start offering it up, you know?... I bet if they did, I hope I would say, 'Hey, get lost. We don't want any of that.'"-George Bush, talking about drug abuse to a group of students"For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan.We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex... uh... setbacks."-George Bush"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy. But that could change."-Dan Quayle"Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here."-Dan Quayle during a visit to Hawaii in more...

The Top 13 Retractions Printed by the NY Times in 199813 "Correction: The cookie recipe in question costs $350, not $250 as previously reported." 12 "Earlier this year, the Times mistakenly reported that software magnate Bill Gates is a money-hungry, maladapted, socially awkward loser. He is, in fact, a bloodsucking cob-nobbler. The Times regrets the error." 11 "We wish to apologize for calling the former Australian Prime minister, Paul Keating, the lowest slime-ball in the country. We meant in THEIR country." 10 "Due to a typographical error yesterday, we mistakenly printed the entire Wall Street Journal under our banner. It should have been the Washington Post. Sorry." 9 "Okay, so it was a blue dress, not a red skirt. Get off our backs already!"8 "In Thursday's edition of the Times, we erroneously reported the stories of five people who experienced bad luck as a result of not forwarding an e-mail message..."7 "This more...

Here are a few reasons
why guys like girls:
1.
They will always smell good
even if its just shampoo
2.
The way their heads always
find the right spot on our shoulder
3.
How cute they look when they sleep
4.
The ease in which they fit into our arms
5.
The way they kiss you and
all of a sudden everything
is right in the world
6.
How cute they are when they eat
7.
The way they take hours
to get dressed
but in the end
it makes it all worth while
8.
Because they are always
warm even when its minus 30 outside
9.
The way they look good
no matter what they wear
10.
The way they fish for compliments
even though you both know that you
think she's the most
beautiful thing on this earth
11.
How cute they are when they argue
12.
The way her hand always finds yours
13.
The way they smile
14.
The more...