Apple Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Seven. One to screw it in and six to design the tee-shirts.

What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one, then!

Q: How many Apple Newton users does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only one, tharks to the extnq-producilve handwritling processcr.

AN Englishman, a Frenchman and a Russian were arguing about the nationality of Adam and Eve.
'They must have been English,' declared the Englishman.' Only a gentleman would share his last apple with a woman.'
'They were undoubtedly French,' said the Frenchman.' Who else could seduce a woman so easily?'
I think they were Russians,' said the Russian.' After all, who else could walk stark naked, feed on one apple between the two of them and think they were in Paradise?'

Mergers that may or may not make the world a funnier place:

There was a rumor that W. R. Grace Co. was going to buy the Fuller Brush Co. and Mary Kay Cosmetics and then merge with the Hale Business Systems. This would result in the new mega-corporate entity known as:' Hale Mary Fuller Grace.'

Don't forget the failed merger between Yahoo and Netscape....Net'n'yahoo.... (say it out loud) A great number of years ago there was a proposed merger between Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers. Rumor had it that the new company would be called. ... Fairwell Honeychild.

It was announced that Wurlitzer is merging with Xerox. They are going to market. .. reproductive organs.

There is a merger in the works involving Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler. It will be called. .. Poly-Warner-Cracker.

Other Merger's we'd like to see:

3M & Goodyear.......................... mmmGood
John Deere & more...

Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs!

What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm!