Appointment Jokes / Recent Jokes

What doctors say, and what they're really thinking:

"This should be taken care of right away." I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.

"Welllllll, what have we here...?" He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue.

"Let me check your medical history." I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you.

"Why don't we make another appointment later in the week." I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time. --or-- I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit.

"We have some good news and some bad news." The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.

"Let's see how it develops." Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured.

"Let me more...

Troy had finally made it to his doctor's office for a long overdue appointment.
"Well, Troy," the scowling doctor said, "I see you're well over a month late for your appointment. Don't you realize that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention. What's your excuse?"
"I was simply following your orders, Doc," Troy replied.
"Following my orders?" the confused doctor said. "What are you going on about? I gave you no such order."
"You told me to avoid people who irritate me," explained Troy.

This joke sucks....One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps hiswife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over andsays, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and Iwant to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This timehe whispers in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

One day Little Jimmy has a dentist appointment. The appointment is during 7:20 to 8:20, which is the first hour of Little Jimmy's school. The appointment went fine, but Little Jimmy's mom had to get up from bed early to take Little Jimmy to his appointment, so she is a little tired. Little Jimmy's mother gives him a note, and she instructs him to give the note to his teacher. Little Jimmy doesn't look at the note, then when he gets into his classroom, he hands the note to his teacher, just as his mother had instructed. His teacher took the note, took a glance at it, then fainted. Little Jimmy and his classmates ran over to her to look at the note to see what all the commotion was. The note read,
"Little Jimmy had a dentist appointment today. I'm sorry for his absence. Please let him be executed at school today. Signed, Tara Fox."

She says, "Not tonight honey, I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay clean and fresh."
The man feeling rejected rolls over and tries to go to sleep.
In a few minutes he rolls back over and asks his wife, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow?"

What doctors say, and what they're really thinking:
"This should be taken care of right away."
I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.
"Welllllll, what have we here...?"
He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue.
"Let me check your medical history."
I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you.
"Why don't we make another appointment later in the week."
I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time.
-or-
I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit.
"We have some good news and some bad news."
The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.
"Let's see how it develops."
Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured.
"Let me schedule you for more...

What doctors say, and what they're really thinking:
"This should be taken care of right away." I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.
"Welllllll, what have we here...?" He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue.
"Let me check your medical history." I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you.
"Why don't we make another appointment later in the week." I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time. -or- I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit.
"We have some good news and some bad news." The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.
"Let's see how it develops." Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured.
"Let me schedule you for some tests." I have a forty more...