Arguing Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, all working for NASA, were trying to figure out where to go on the next trip.The brunette said, "We should go to Mars."The redhead said, "We should go to the Moon."The brunette and the redhead sat there arguing for a while. Suddenly, the blonde shouts, "Stop arguing! I know where the next expedition should be to... the Sun!"The brunette and the redhead looked at each other and started laughing. The brunette finally said, "You can't go to the Sun. You would melt or burn up before you even got close!"The blonde said, "DUH... Not if you go at night!"

Original Monologue by Larry Miller, an American comedian.
LEVEL 1:
It's 11:00 on a weeknight, you've had a few beers.
You get up to leave because you have work the next day and one of your friends buys another round. One of your UNEMPLOYED friends.
Here at level one you think to yourself, "Oh come on, this is silly, why as long as I get seven hours of sleep (snap fingers), I'm cool.".
LEVEL 2:
It's midnight. You've had a few more beers.
You've just spent 20 minutes arguing against artificial turf. You get up to leave again, but at level two, a little devil appears on your shoulder. And now you're thinking, "Hey! I'm out with my friends! What am I working for anyway? These are the good times! Besides, as long as I get five hours sleep (snaps fingers) I'm cool.".
LEVEL 3:
One in the morning. You've abandoned beer for tequila.
You've just spent 20 minutes arguing FOR artificial turf. And now you're thinking, "Our waitress more...

3 Hints to arguing with blondes:
1.) Use small easy to understand words.
2.) Keep your sentences short and to the point.
3.) Use, what I like to call, "Blonde logic" aka logic that only makes sense to them or on occasion other blondes.

There were these two professors arguing over which one had the dumber child. Each professor thought his was the bigger idiot. The first professor yells "There is no way that your son is dumber. My son has to be THE stupidest kid on Earth." The second professor says "No way, Jose. My son is the bigger idiot." The first professor says "Let me prove it to you. Hey Jake! (Jake runs to his father) I don't know if I left myself at the office or not. Would you run there and find out. If I'm there then tell me to come home and eat dinner." The son says, gleefully, "Sure dad" and runs off.The second professor not to be outdone says "Oh Yea! Watch this! Hey Sam! Come here! (Sam runs to his father) Here are two pennies. With one penny buy a car and the other buy a microwave."Sam says "OK." and leaves. The professors keep arguing.Jay and Sam meet in the street. And they start arguing which one has the dumber father. Jay says, "Well more...

One day a little boy hears his mom and dad arguing and he hears his mom say bastard and his dad say bitches he then asks what it means and they say ladies and gentle men Well that night he hears his mom and dad arguing in bed he hears his mom say harry balls and his dad say saggy tities he ask what it means and they say coats and hats. Sothen the next morning his dad is upstairs in the bathroom and he says shit the boy asks what it means and his dad sayes shaving cream. So he is going down stairs where his mom is cutting a turkey and she says fuck he asks what it means and she says cutting the turkey. Then later the doorbell rings the boy answers the door and it is his grandparents so he says good afternoon bitches and bastards you may hang your saggy tities and harry balls here dads upstairs putting shit on his face and moms in the kitchen fucking the turkey.!!!