Article Jokes / Recent Jokes
A reporter when up into the hills of West Virginia to research an article about the area. He met an old man in a small town and asked him about memorable events in his life. "Well, one time my favorite sheep got lost. So me and my neighbors got some moonshine and went looking for it. We finally found the sheep. Then we drank the moonshine and wound up screwing the sheep. It was a lot of fun!" The reporter knew he couldn`t write an article about that, so he asked the old man to tell him another story. "Well, one time my neighbor`s wife got lost, so me and all the village men got some moonshine and went out looking for her. We finally found her. Then we drank the moonshine and screwed her. Now that was a lot of fun!" The frustrated reporter told the old man that he couldn`t write articles about those stories and asked him if he had any sad memories he could talk about. The old man paused, then said, "Well, one time I got lost...... "
Diane was married to a real male chauvinist. Although they both worked full-time, he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework.
One day Steve, her husband, read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework, in addition to holding down a full-time job. So, one evening, he declared to do her work.
When Diane arrived home from work, she was stunned to see the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner cooking on the stove, and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was truly astonished and wanted to know what was going on. When she asked Steve, he told her about the article he had read.
The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her girlfriends at the office. "How did it work out?" they asked.
Diane said, "Steve even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the more...
Article 76 (1)
Parliament shall not abdicate or in any manner alienate its
legislative power, and shall not set up any authority with any
legislative power.
Article 5
The territory of the Republic of Sri Lanka shall consist of the
twenty-four administrative districts, the names of which are set
out in the First Schedule, and its territorial waters.
Schedule
First Schedule
Article 5
Names of Administrative Districts:
1. Colombo
2. Gampaha
3. Kalutara
4. Kandy
5. Matale
6. Nuwara Eliya
7. Galle
8. Matara
9. Hambantota
10. Jaffna
11. Mannar
12. Vavuniya
13. Mullaitivu
14. Batticaloa
15. Ampara
16. Trincomalee
17. Kurunegala
18. Puttalam
19. Anuradhapura
20. Polonnaruwa
21. Badulla
22. Moneragala
23. Ratnapura
24. Kegalla
Some time ago, someone had posted an article saying how the existance of Santa Claus was impossible. I took this article and sent it to a number of friends on campus. Somehow, it got to one of the professors on campus by the name of Ted Davis. He wrote the following reply.
Dear Mr. Crowell:
The analysis you sent me about the death of Santa Claus, based on classical physics, is seriously flawed owing to its neglect of quantum phenomena that become significant in his particular case. As it happens, the terminal velocity of a reindeer in dry December air over the Northern Hemisphere (for example) is known with tremendous precision. The mass of Santa and his sleigh (since the number of children and their gifts is also known precisely, ahead of time, and the reindeer must weigh in minutes before the flight) is also known with tremendous precision. His direction of flight is, as you say, essentially east to west.
All of that, when taken together, means that the momentum more...
A reporter goes way up into the hills of West Virginia to write an article about the area. He meets an old man in a small town and asks him about any memorable events in his life. The old man says, "Well, one time my favorite sheep got lost, so me and my neighbors got some moonshine and went looking for it. We looked and looked and finally found the sheep. Then we drank the moonshine and one by one, started shagging the sheep. It was a lot of fun!"The reporter figured he can't write an article about that, so he asked the old man to tell him another story. The old man said, "Well, one time my neighbor's wife got lost, so me and all the village men got some moonshine and went out looking for her. We looked and looked and finally we found her. Then we drank the moonshine and one by one, started shagging the neighbor's wife. Now, THAT was a lot of fun!"The reporter, feeling frustrated, finally told the old man that he couldn't write articles about those stories and more...
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating
too much, smoking too much, impulse buying and driving too fast. Are
they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.
The following item was extracted from the travel section of a UK daily newspaper: Travelling in India is an almost hallucinatory potion of sound, spectacle and experience. It is frequently heart-rending, sometimes hilarious, mostly exhilarating, always unforgettable - and, when you are on the roads, extremely dangerous.
Most Indian road users observe a version of the Highway Code based on an ancient text. These 12 rules of the Indian road are published for the first time in English.
ARTICLE I
The assumption of immortality is required of all road users.
ARTICLE II
The following precedence must be accorded at all times. In descending order, give way to: cows, elephants, heavy trucks, buses, official cars, camels, light trucks, buffalo, Jeeps, ox-carts, private cars, motorcycles, scooters, auto-rickshaws, pigs, pedal rickshaws, goats, bicycles (goods-carrying), handcarts, bicycles (passenger-carrying), dogs, pedestrians.
ARTICLE III
All wheeled vehicles more...