Atheist Jokes / Recent Jokes

What is the biggest problem for an atheist? No one to talk to during orgasm.

One beautiful morning an atheist was walking through the forest,
admiring nature's beauties. He looked up and saw the trees swaying in
the wind high above him, and he smiled. He saw the river glittering in
the sun, and it made him warm inside. He thought to himself that
mother nature had made a truly wonderful world.
The atheist walked a little farther down the path he had taken when
suddenly a bear jumped out of the bushes only a few yards ahead of
him. The bear looked hungry, it started growling and running towards
him.
Seeing the big bear bounding towards him he screamed in horror and
started running as fast as he could away from the bear. Knowing that
the bear would catch him and he had no chance, the atheist soon ran
out of breath and finally fell to the ground.
As the bear's shadow fell upon his face and his paws came down upon
his chest, the atheist screamed, "Oh help me god!"
Suddenly the trees that he so more...

An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13-foot Kodiak brown bear beginning to charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest, he tried to run faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over him, reaching for him with its left paw and raising its right paw to strike him.

"OH MY GOD!. .."

Time stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

Even the more...

A young lady came home from a date, rather sad.

She told her mother, "Jeff proposed to me an hour ago."

"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.

"Because he also told me he was an atheist.

Mom, he doesn`t even believe there`s a hell."

Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway.

Between the two of us, we`ll show him how wrong he is."

A young lady came home and told her Mother that her boyfriend had proposed but she had turned him down because she found out he was an atheist, and didn't believe in Heaven or Hell.
"Marry him anyway dear." the Mother said. "Between the two of us, we'll show him just how wrong he is."

Q: What's the biggest problem for an atheist?
A: No one to talk to during a orgasm.

A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church. However, the atheists life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, and his children were healthy and good-natured, whereas the pious mans job was strenuous and his wages were low, his wife was getting fatter every day and his kids wouldnt give him the time of the day. So one day, deep in prayer as usual, he raised his eyes towards heaven and asked:"Oh God, I honour you every day, I ask your advice for every problem and confess to you my every sin. Yet my neighbour, who doesnt even believe in you and certainly never prays, seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor andsuffer many an indignity. Why is this?"And a great voice w as heard from above:"BECAUSE HE DOESNT BOTHER ME ALL THE TIME!"