Average Jokes / Recent Jokes
Recently, somewhere in the US a teacher gave his class a not-too-kosher maths test which landed him in the proverbial soup. The original was edited and given to the class in all seriousness (I think). But there was some logical reasoning behind it!
Many people claim the reason innner city students do poorly on standardized tests is because the tests are culturally biased as part of an evil white surburbanite plan. This is of course a much more likely explanation than the idea that drugs, running gun battles and teen pregnancy are disruptive to education.
So, here's a culturally normalized standard test.
City of East Los Angeles
High School Math Proficiency Final Exam
Name:____________
Alias:____________
Gang:____________
Johnny has an AK-47 with a 40 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots, and he shoots 13 times at every drive by shooting, how may drive by shootings can he attend before he has to reload?
Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells more...
1. Coca-cola was originally green.
2. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treasury.
3. Smartest dogs: 1) border collie; 2)poodle; 3)golden retriever.
4. Dumbest dog: Afghan
5. Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.
6. Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.
7. Chances that an American lives within 50 miles of where they grew up: 1 in 2
8. Amount American Airlines saved in '87 by taking out 1 olive from each salad served in first class: $40,000
9. City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong
10. State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
11. Chances of a white Christmas in New York: 1 in 4
12. Portion of US annual rainfall that falls in April: 1/12
13. Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
14. Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
15. Estimated % of American adults who go on diet each year: 44%
16. Barbie's measurements if she more...
Dictionary of Evaluation Comments Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out. AVERAGE: Not too bright. EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED: Has committed no major blunders to date. ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Drinks heavily. ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated. CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: Still one step ahead of the law. UNLIMITED POTENTIAL: Will stick with us until retirement. QUICK THINKING: Offers plausible excuses for errors. TAKES PRIDE IN WORK: Conceited. TAKES ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPERTUNITY TO PROGRESS: Buys drinks for superiors.INDIFFERENT TO INSTRUCTION: Knows more than superiors.STERN DISCIPLINARIAN: A real jerk.TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH SUPERIORS: Knows when to keep mouth shut.APPROACHES DIFFICULT PROBLEMS WITH LOGIC: Finds someone else to do the job. A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused. NOT A DESK PERSON: Did not go to college. EXPRESSES SELF WELL: Can string two sentences together. SPENDS more...
A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.
The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?"
The mathematician replies "Four."
The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?"
The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?"
The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."
Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?"
The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.
When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.
Editor's note: Mean can mean both not nice but another definition is average.
1. Coca-cola was originally green.2. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treasury.3. Smartest dogs: 1) border collie; 2)poodle; 3)golden retriever.4. Dumbest dog: Afghan5. Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.6. Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.7. Chances that an American lives within 50 miles of where they grew up: 1 in 28. Amount American Airlines saved in '87 by taking out 1 olive from each salad served in first class: $40,0009. City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong10. State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska11. Chances of a white Christmas in New York: 1 in 412. Portion of US annual rainfall that falls in April: 1/1213. Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%14. Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%15. Estimated % of American adults who go on diet each year: 44%16. Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-3317. Average number of days a West German goes without more...