Aware Jokes / Recent Jokes
As most technophiles are aware, there are special programs to run scanners. These programs use a TWAIN driver to perform the scanning. TWAIN, the acronym, stands for "Technology Without An Interesting Name."
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape,
and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good more...
1. If someone calls while you are on the phone, do not answer the call waiting signals, after all your conversation to your boyfriend`s, cousin`s, sister`s, ex-best friend`s, father-in-law`s, stepson is probably too important to be interrupted. 2. Of course there is no need to record any messages on a piece of paper. a. you would have to actually walk towards the kitchen to get to the pad of paper which requires that you write down a name and check off a few boxes b. but more importantly, all roommates have mental telepathy and are aware that if you tell the party on the phone that he/she will be called back at the callee`s first free moment, the callee will telepathically be aware of this 3. Don`t buy anything for the apartment, use and abuse other roommates items until they are destroyed and wait for them to buy a new one (case example: the spatula). 4. Feel free to leave any and all dirty dishes wherever you please, certainly one of your roommates has taken classes in more...
1. If someone calls while you are on the phone, do not answer the call waiting signals, after all your conversation to your boyfriend`s, cousin`s, sister`s, ex-best friend`s, father-in-law`s, stepson is probably too important to be interrupted.
2. Of course there is no need to record any messages on a piece of paper.
a. you would have to actually walk towards the kitchen to get to the pad of paper which requires that you write down a name and check off a few boxes
b. but more importantly, all roommates have mental telepathy and are aware that if you tell the party on the phone that he/she will be called back at the callee`s first free moment, the callee will telepathically be aware of this
3. Don`t buy anything for the apartment, use and abuse other roommates items until they are destroyed and wait for them to buy a new one (case example: the spatula).
4. Feel free to leave any and all dirty dishes wherever you please, certainly more...
DAY 752
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
DAY 761
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. I must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repel these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. .. must try this on their bed.
DAY 765
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm. .. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768
I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For more...
Cat DiaryDAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape,and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vileoppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little more...
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Aware.
Aware who?
Aware, aware has my little dog gone?