Baby Jokes / Recent Jokes

Santa and Jeeto were delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them that they had a wonderful Tamil baby boy, and they took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.
After they filled out the forms, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Tamil?"
Santa and Jeeto said proudly, "We just adopted a Tamil baby, and in a year or so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him."

A doctor started having an affair with his nurse, and shortly after this started, she announced that she had become pregnant. Not wanting his wife to find out, he gave her a large amount of money and asked her to go out of the country--to Germany--to wait out the pregnancy and have the baby over there.

"But how will you know when our baby is born?" she asked.

"Well," he said, "After you've had the baby, just send me a post card and write' sauerkraut' on the back." Not knowing what else to do, she took the money and went off to Germany.

Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at his office. "Dear, you received a very strange post card in the mail today," she explained. "I don't understand what it means."

"Just wait till I get home and I'll read it," he replied.

Later that evening, the doctor came home and read his post card which said: more...

A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, ''Mummy, why is my name Petal?'' the mother replied ''Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."
The next baby walked up and asked, ''Mummy why is my name Rose?'' She replied, ''Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head.'' The last baby walked up to her and said ''BLAS CLAFLAS YIFRASSAM TASSM POONNFFFIINRTY." The mother replied, ''Shut up Fridge.''

Little four-year-old Jenny was looking at her new baby brother for the first time. He was fast asleep.
After staring at her tiny, motionless baby brother for a few minutes, Jenny looked up at her mother and asked plaintively, "Didn't he come with batteries?"

I found this inside a old business card from
Stateside Locker Club, San Diego, CA:
In a South American mining district Mrs. Brown presented her
husband with a 12 pound baby boy. Mr. Brown was so delighted that he
went to the News office and told that he had found a 12 pound nugget of
gold as good as any to be found in South America. The paper, naturally,
sent a reporter to get particulars. This is what happened:
Reporter-Does Mr. Brown live here?
Mrs.Brown- he does.
Reporter-Is he in?
Mrs.Brown-No he isn't.
Reporter-I understand he found a nugget of gold weighing 12 pounds.
Mrs.Brown-(Seeing the joke) Yes.
Reporter-Can you show me the exact location where it was found?
Mrs.Brown-I'm afraid Mr. Brown would object as it is private.
Reporter-Is the hole far from here?
Mrs.Brown-No, it is quite handy.
Reporter-Has Mr. Brown been working the claim long?
Mrs.Brown-Almost ten months.
Reporter-Was Mr. Brown the first more...

Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a
mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have
bitten?
A. The boy's hand

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-days and if
it doesn't come means you are in big trouble.

Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology.
When the baby looks like the neighbour, then it is sociology.

Q: What's the height of recycling?
A: Sending a sanitary napkin for dry cleaning

Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals
a day as I have advised?
A. Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day

Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath.
Tarzan more...

One day shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to goout to do some errands. So the proud papa stayed home to watch hiswonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry.The father did everything he could think of to do but the baby wouldn'tstop crying. Finally, the dad got so worried he decided to take theinfant to the doctor. After the doctor listened to the father all thathe had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examinethe baby's ears, chest and then down to the diaper area. When he undidthe diaper, he finds that the diaper is indeed full. "Here's theproblem", the Dr. says. "He needs a change." The father is veryperplexed, " But the diaper package says it is good for up to 10 lbs!"