Bach Jokes / Recent Jokes
The following were answers provided by 6th graders during a history test. Watch the spelling! Some of the best humor is in the misspelling.
Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened read, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
In the Olympic games, Greeks ran more...
"Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys"
"Diatonic is a low-calorie Schwepps."
"Agitato is your state of mind when your hand slips in the middle of a piece."
"Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large - number of children. In between, he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in the attic."
"Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. "
"Do you know that if Beethoven were alive today, he would be celebrating the 165th anniversary of his death?"
And of course these greatest hits - "Bronze Lullaby", the "Taco Bell Cannon", and Gershwin's "Rap City in Blue." And Tchaikovsky's "Cracknutter Suite," of course.
Stradivarius sold his violins on the open market with no strings attached.
The principle singer of 19th century opera was called more...
The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade ages in Ohio.
They were collected over a period of three years by two teachers. Read carefully for grammar, misplaced modifiers, and of course, spelling!
Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate Of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada but the commandos made it.
Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was A actual hysterical figure as well as being in the bible. It sounds Like he was sort of busy too. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and more...
On a Scientist's door: "Gone Fission".
On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
At a Music Store: "Out to lunch. Bach at 12: 30. Offenbach
sooner."
On a Music Teacher's door: "Out Chopin."
On the door of a Music Library: "Bach in a min-u-et."
In a Podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."
On another Butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."
Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to
take a leak."
In a Beauty Shop: "Dye now!"
On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."
In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium: "Drop your pants here."
A note left for a pianist from his wifeGone Chopin, (have Liszt), Bach in a Minuet