Bach Jokes

This is a collection of actual student bloopers collected by teachers from 8th grade through college.The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and more...

Why did Beethoven kill his chicken?
It kept saying ''Bach, Bach, Bach...''

Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to stand around and say, "I can do that!"Q: What do you get if Bach falls off a horse, but has the courage to get on again and continue riding? A: Bach in the saddle again.Q: How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two. One to screw it in, and one to complain that it's electrified.Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb, 2 to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.Q: How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Seven; one to change and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.Q: Why don't they know where Mozart is buried? A: Because he's Haydn! Q: What's musical and handy in a supermarket? A: A Chopin Liszt.Q: What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins? A: A pair of Re-bachs.Q: What do you call a male quartet? A: Three men and a tenor.

"Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this."
"The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. Her reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality. Her death was the final event which ended her reign."
"The nineteenth century was a time of many great inventions and thoughts. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Samuel Morse more...

Q: What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins? A: A pair of Re-bachs.