Bad Kid Jokes / Recent Jokes
A little boy asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes. When he went to wipe his bum there was no toilet paper so he used his hands. When he got back to class his teacher asked,' What do you have in your hand.' The boy said,' A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away.' He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him,' What do you have in your hand.' So the little boy said,' A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away.' He was sent home and his mom asked him' What do you have in your hand.' So the little boy said,' A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away.' He was sent to his room and his dad came in and said,' What do you have in your hand.' So again the little boy said,' A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he get scared away.' Then his Dad got really mad and yelled,' Open your hands!' And the little boy said,' Look Dad you scared the crap out of him.'
The swing doors of the Wild West saloon crashed open and in came Little Pete, black with fury.
' Alright! ' he raged,' alright! who did it? what goldarned carmint painted my horse blue? '
And the huge figure of Black Jake, notorious gunfighter and town baddie, rose from a chair by the door.' It were me, shrimp,' he drawled, bunching his gigantic fists.' What about it? '
' Oh, well, er' stammered little Pete wretchedly,' all I wanted to say was. .... when are you going to give it another coat? '
A fireman looked out of the firehouse window and noticed a little boy playing on the sidewalk. The boy had his little red wagon. He had hung small ladders on the side of it, and coiled the garden hose up in it, and he was wearing a fireman's hat.
He had the wagon tied to his dog, so that the dog could pull the wagon.
The fireman thought this was really cute, so he went out and told the little boy what a great looking fire truck he had. As he did, he noticed that the dog was tied to the wagon by his testicles.
The fireman said, "Son, I don't want to try to tell you how to run your fire company, but I think if you would tie that rope around the dog's neck you would go faster."
"Maybe so," said the little boy, "But then I'd lose my siren."
I didn't do my homework because I lost my memory
When did this start?
When did what start!
A boy says, "Daddy, Daddy, I want to get married!" The father says, "For that son, you have to have a boy and a girl." The son says, "I've found a girl." "Who?" "My grandmother." "Let me get this straight," the father says. "You want to marry my mother? You can't do that." "Well, why not?" the son says. "You married mine!"
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a childs whispered, "Hello?". Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?". "Yes.", whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?", the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No.". Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?". "Yes.", came the answer. "May I talk with her?". Again the small voice whispered, "No.". Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides you?", the boss asked the child. "Yes", whispered the more...