Bald Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn’t find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, “Great, so now you’re cheating on me with a bald woman! ”
The next night, when she didn’t smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, “She’s not only bald, but she’s too cheap to buy any perfume! ”
there were three one centimeter men so thin that you could almost see through them. They were looking for a good home when they came along a nice tall woman.
They all three climbed on. The first one said, hey guys i found a nice yellow sticky cave i think ill live here! The next one said hey i found a nice warm green lumpy cave i think ill live here! The next one said hey i found a nice warm forest the only thing wrong with it is that theres a bald guy spitting at me!!!
Peg-Leg Baldy A bald man with a peg leg gets invited to a costume party. Being shy and self-conscious about his appearance, he goes to the best costume shop in town. When he gets there, he tells the shop owner his situation and that he would rather cover his head and leg with a costume instead instead of exploiting his apparent problems. So, the shop owner comes back with a lifeguard costume. The man says, "No, no. That will show off my peg leg. I can't hide it with that. Try again." So the shop owner leaves and comes back with a monk costume And again the man says, "No, no. I can't wear that. It will make people notice my head." Obviously pissed off, the shop owner leaves and comes back with a five-pound bag of caramels, gives it to the man and says, "Here. Just take this." Confused, the man says, "What am I suposed to do with a bag of caramels?" Smiling, the shop owner says, "Take home this bag of caramels, melt them, pour it all over more...
A guy is caught by a ranger eating a bald eagle and is consequently put in jail for the crime. On the day of his trail, the conversation went something like this: Judge: "Do you know that eating a bald eagle is a federal offense?" Man: "Yes I did. But if you let me argue my case, I'll explain what happened." Judge: "Proceed." Man: "I got lost in the woods. I hadn't had anything to eat for two weeks. I was so hungry. Next thing I see is a Bald Eagle swooping down at the lake for some fish. I knew that if I followed the Eagle I could maybe steal the fish. Unfortunately, in the process of taking the fish I killed the Eagle. I figured that since I killed the Eagle I might as well eat it since it would be more disgraceful to let it rot on the ground." Judge: "The court will take a recess while we analyze your testimony." 15 minutes goes by and the judge returns. Judge: "Due to the extreme circumstance you were under and because you more...
Why did the bald man go outside?
To get some fresh hair!
There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"
The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, "She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!"
An old man is arrested by a game warden that caught him roasting a bald eagle over a campfire. All of the feathers, head, and feet were nearby, and the man admitted that it was indeed a bald eagle that he was about to eat.
When his day in court came, the old man was quickly convicted but pled for mercy on the grounds that he'd taken the bird for subsistence in a survival situation. The judge complied, giving the man probation, a small fine, and crediting him for time served. Before letting him leave, though, the judge asked the man to his chambers. He asked, just out of curiosity, what bald eagle tasted like? To which the old man replied,
"Oh, a little bit like Condor."