Bandits Jokes

A man was travelling from Jerusalem to Jericho when he was at tacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes and money, beat him up and left him half dead on the roadside. By chance, a priest came along, but when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of, the road and passed by. Then a rabbi came along and saw the man, but he, too, passed by on the other side. Lastly, a social worker approached. He stopped, examined the man, looked deeply concerned and declared, "Whoever did this needs help."

A cowboy gets captured by bandits who tie him up in the middle of the desert. They tell him that they will come back once a day for three days to grant him three last requests and then they’re gonna kill him. They ask him what his first request is. He says, “I wanna talk to my horse. ” He whispers in the horses ear, it runs off and comes back with a beautiful blonde on it’s back who gets off the horse and makes love to the cowboy. The bandits are all amazed.
The second day the bandits ask him for his next request, “I WANNA talk to my HORSE! ” he says. He whispers in the horses ear, it rides off and returns with two red heads on it’s back. They both get off and make love to the cowboy. The bandits are loving this horse. The last day comes and they ask for his final request. “I WANNA TALK TO MY HORSE!!! ” They bring the horse over and he whispers, “Now damnit, I said bring me back a POSSE! ”