Banker Jokes / Recent Jokes

Did you hear about the banker who's a great lover?
He knows first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.

The old native American wanted a loan for $500. The banker pulled out the loan application, "What are you going to do with the money?""Take jewellery to city and sell it," was the response."What have you got for collateral?""Don't know collateral.""Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of the loan.Have you got any vehicles?""Yes, 1949 Chevy pickup."The banker shook his head, "How about livestock?""Yes, I have a horse.""How old is it?""Don't know, has no teeth."Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan. Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here to pay." he said. He then handed the banker the money to pay his loan off."What are you going to do with the rest of that money?""Put in tepee.""Why don't you deposit it in my bank," he asked."Don't know deposit.""You more...

One day in New York City, a banker was driving his new Jaguar down the streets. He parked it and opened the door to get out. Suddenly a taxi went by and ripped the door off. The driver reported this to a nearby police officer. The officer saw the whole thing and said "You bankers are so involved in your possessions. You didn't even notice that your arm was ripped off as well" The banker stared at where his arm used to be and said "OH NO! My new Rolex is gone too!"

Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100, 000 to pay for his daughter's college education?
As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away in handcuffs, he said to the banker, "I have just one question for you. Where were you going to get the rest of the money?"

Definition: A manager is a person who thinks that nine women can produce a child in one month.
Robots: Our Steel Collar Workers.
Q: What's the difference between Xerox and the Titanic?
A: The Titanic had a band.
Q: What does Santa call his wife at tax time?
A: A dependent Claus.
Q: What do you call a credit union volunteer in a room full of bank directors?
A: A superior being.
Q: What is the difference between big foot and a socially responsible banker?
A: Big foot has been sighted.
Q: Why did the bank drive-up window teller have tire tread marks across the back of his grey suit?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said: "Don't Walk."
Q: How do you confuse a bank teller?
A: Give him a bag of M&M's and tell him to alphabetize them.
Q: Why is a BMW a banker's favorite car?
A: Because he can't spell Porsche.
Anti-trust laws should be approached with exactly that attitude
If bankers more...

The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?""Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is a heck of a time to talk business."

The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat.The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?""Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is a heck of a time to talk business."