Banker Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why was the banker bored? Because he lost interest in everything.
Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100, 000 to pay for his daughter's college education? As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away in handcuffs, he said to the banker, "I have just one question for you. Where were you going to get the rest of the money?"
The Scene: The Girl is a 23 year old investment banker working in New York. The Boy is doing his residency in Boston and was given her number by his mother, who is a friend of the Girl's aunt's brother-in-law's cousin's uncle's wife in Chicago.
Monday night, 10 pm
Girl: Hello?
Boy: (Shit, she's home!) Umm, hi! Is this ---?
Girl: Speaking.
Boy: My name is ---. I don't know if you know who I am- (God, what if she doesn't know who I am? I'll sound like a complete idiot.) Hell, I already sound like a complete idiot. I don't even know why I'm doing this!)
Girl: Oh, you live in Boston, right?
Boy: Yeah. (Ok, she was told about me, that's a fucking relief. I wonder what she was told - "He's a resident, tall, and fair, and he graduated from Ivy League school!" God, she probably hates me already!)
Girl: Yeah, my mother mentioned you had my number. (I can't believe he actually more...
WELL, THERE WERE THREE PEOPLE WITH THREE DIFFERENT PROFESSIONS. ONE WAS BANKER, SECOND DOCTOR AND THE THIRD WAS A LAWYER. THEY ARE VERY GOOD FRIENDS FOR A LONG TIME. THEY DECIDED TO GO FOR STRIP SHOW IN NEW YORK. SO, THEY ENETR THIS POSH STRIP BAR "FOXYLADY". THE LADIES WERE HIP. THE GUYS WERE HAVING A GOOD CHAT. ONE OF THE STRIPPERS COMES CLOSER JIGGLING HER BOOBS, UP & DOWN. THE BANKER GOES FORWARD, RECKONING HER TO COME TO HIM, HE PUTS HIS HEAD IN BETWEEN HER THIGHS AND KISS HER THIGHS AND TUCKS IN $50. SHE GOES OFF HAPPY. THEN ANOTHER LADY COMES WITH THE SAME ROUTINE EXPECTING A BIGGER REWARD PUTS HER BOOBS ON TO THE FACE OF THE DOCTOR... JUGGLES IT BACK AND FORTH. HE WAS LICKING AND ENJOYING. HAPPY GAVE HER HUNDRED BUCKS. FINALLY, ANOTHER LADY COMES EXPECTING A BIGGER REWARD. HE TAKES OFF THE TOP AND THEN PRESS HER ASS ON TO THE LAWYER'S FACE.... HE HAD A LOT OF FUN... BUT HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY CASH WITH HIM. YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID: THE LAWYER TOOK HIS AMEX... SLID IT more...
A newly rich internet entrepreneur splurged on a Rolls Royce after his IPO and couldn't wait to show it off. So after a meeting with the manager of his bank, he offered him a ride home.
A mile or two into the ride, he couldn't help asking the banker, "So whaddya think? Pretty snappy, huh? Bet you've never ridden in one of these before."
"Actually, I have," replied the banker graciously, "but this is my first time in the front seat."
A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, whom I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours."
The banker said, "Yes, he certainly was trusted, and he will be tried as soon as we catch him."
A central banker walks into a pizzeria to order a pizza.
When the pizza is done, he goes up to the counter get it. There a clerk asks him: "Should I cut it into six pieces or eight pieces?"
The central banker replies: "I'm feeling rather hungry right now. You'd better cut it into eight pieces."