Banks Jokes / Recent Jokes

An office manager was sent three secretaries, equally qualified, to fill one vacancy. "Well," thought the manager, "I'll give them an honesty test to determine which secretary to keep."To this end, he gave each secretary a money bag to take and bank telling them that there was $50 in the bag. (In fact, he had placed $100 in each bag; thus the honesty test.)The first secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50 and returns the extra $50 to the manager.The second secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks the full $100, and returns with a deposit slip as proof.The third secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50, goes to the local TAB and uses the $50 to win $300, then returns, explains to the manager and gives him the all the money.Question: Which secretary does the manager select to retain??? Answer: Well, DUH!...The one with the biggest breasts!

Tyra Banks talked to People magazine about the "fat pics" snapped of her on vacation. Banks said that she is retired from modeling and no longer needs to maintain a strict diet. Despite this explanation, she was disappointed that no one wanted to hear her sing "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going."

... Can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance;
... Are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink;
... Do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes right up front;
... Do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and then top it all off with a DIET coke because they're concerned about their weight;
... Do banks leave the doors open and then chain the pens to the counter;
... Do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage;
... Do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have "call waiting" so we won't miss a call from someone we don't want to talk to in the first place;
... Do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight;
... Do we use the word "Politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" (from Latin) means "many", and more...

Albert Garcia Jr. sued the state in 1992 because the Ely State Prison began delivering his legal mail from 9 p.m. to 10 p.m. He claimed the delivery time interfered with his sleeping pattern.
Kenneth Parker sued the state because he ordered two jars of chunky peanut butter from the prison canteen at Nevada State Prison in 1989 but received one jar of chunky and one jar of creamy peanut butter. While Parker was later given the peanut butter he requested, he still pursued the case, and it was later dismissed.
Randall Wildeman sued the state in 1991 because a Nevada State Prison officer destroyed the bras and bikini panties he had in his cell. Wildeman claimed he was making women's clothing to be sent as gifts.
Michael Sims sued the state in 1994 on the grounds that a prison guard at the Ely State Prison was calling him names. Sims said the guard called him a "faggot" and a "snitch" and put him in a life-threatening situation.
Donald Ferris sued Nevada more...