Barkeep Jokes / Recent Jokes

This hippie walks into a bar, and thinks it's a restaurant. He walks up to the counter, and says to the barkeep, "I want a hot dog, not too hot, not too cold, but in the groove." So the barkeep walks into the back room, and tells this to the manager, who is in a bad mood. The manager says, "Well, give him whatever he wants, then get him out of here." The barkeep heads back into the main room, posing as a waiter. "Anything else," he questions. The hippie replies, "Yeah, I want a milkshake, not too thick, not too thin, but in the groove." Again, the barkeep relays this to his manager, who is getting more frusterated as the night goes on. He yells, "Fine, I already told you, give him what he wants and get him out of here!" So the barkeep returns to the hippie. "That was a hot dog and a milkshake, right?" "Yeah," the hippie says, "but scratch the hot dog. I want a hamburger, not to rare, not too well-done, but in more...

a guy walks into a bar and meets up with a few friends.after a couple of shots of tequila, he stagers over to the bar and asks the barkeep for another shot of tequila and the bartender obliges, this goes on for about an hour or so.finially the man requests another, the barkeep says i gotta cut ya off youre way too intoxicated. the man assures the keeper hes just gettin started., he also replies i got a cab on the way 1 more for the road and again the keep serves up another round.the man asks the keep if he is a wagering kind of guy . the keep replies sure am! the man asks the keep to set his shot glass on the bar, which he does. staggering around and holding on to a patron he says i bet you 1,000 bucks i can piss in that there shot glass! barkeep says take three steps back and i will raise ya 500 to your 1,000, the man replies your on! he takes his steps back and gives it all he has, pissin all over the bar, a patron or two and never gets the first drop in the glass. giggling as he more...

This hippie walks into a bar, and thinks it's a restaurant. He walks up to the counter, and says to the barkeep, "I want a hot dog, not too hot, not too cold, but in the groove."So the barkeep walks into the back room, and tells this to the manager, who is in a bad mood. The manager says, "Well, give him whatever he wants, then get him out of here."The barkeep heads back into the main room, posing as a waiter. "Anything else," he questions. The hippie replies, "Yeah, I want a milkshake, not too thick, not too thin, but in the groove."Again, the barkeep relays this to his manager, who is getting more frusterated as the night goes on. He yells, "Fine, I already told you, give him what he wants and get him out of here!"So the barkeep returns to the hippie. "That was a hot dog and a milkshake, right?" "Yeah," the hippie says, "but scratch the hot dog. I want a hamburger, not to rare, not too well-done, but in the more...

An old miner has been up in the hills for over 20 years. Finally, after
decades of
back breaking work, the old guy hits pay dirt. After a few days of serious
prospecting, he loads up all of his gold onto his mule and heads down the
mountain
into town.
First, he goes to the assay office and cashes out the gold for dollars. Next
stop is the
saloon across the street, where he bellies up to the bar. "Bartender, give me a
whiskey", he says. Barkeep pours him the drink. As he stands at the bar sipping
his
drink, he looks around and notices that there isn't any women in the whole
place.
Now, come to think of it, he ain't seen a women since he hit town.
"Hey, barkeep, where's all the women folk?", he asks. "They all went back east
after the gold ran out", says the barkeep. "What do y'all do for sex around
here",
says the miner. Barkeep replies, "Oh, for that, we more...