Bart Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.

2. Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?

3. Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get.

4. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

5. It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

6. Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No. Homer: Ham? Lisa: No! Homer: Pork chops? Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal! Homer: Heh heh heh... ooh... yeah... right, Lisa. A wonderful...magical animal.

7. Marge: Do you want your son to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, or a sleazy male stripper? Homer: Can't he be both, like the late more...

Bay Area Native Quiz

Want to know if someone is a native of the San Francisco
Bay Area? Want to find out if you qualify yourself? Take
the following quiz and find out!

1) Complete the following phrase:

Dublin, Berkeley, San Lorenzo, Cupertino, __________

2) Name the five bridges that cross San Francisco Bay.
Extra credit: put them in order from north to south.
Extra extra credit: explain how to get across the
Golden Gate Bridge during rush
hour in less than an hour.

3) Complete the following phrase:
2400 Mission, top of the hill, __________

4) You're at a San Francisco Spiders hockey game at the Cow
Palace. (True: a team called' the Spiders' play at a
place called' the Cow Palace.' Go figure.) A woman comes
out to sing the Star Spangled Banner wearing a huge hat
with a model of the entire financial district, including
the TransAmerica building, on top of it. more...