Basket Jokes / Recent Jokes

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."
"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't put all
your eggs in one basket!"

"Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten
Live chicks.
The moral to this story is, "don't count your chickens before they're hatched."
"That was a fine story Sarah. more...

The following day, Suzy raises her hand and says, "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road." The teacher asks for the moral to the story. Suzy replies, "Don't put all your eggs in one basket."
Next is Lucy. "Well, my dad owns a farm, too, and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched. The moral is, don't count your chicks before they are hatched."
Billy is last to speak. He says, "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam War. His plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed, with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 North Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine more...

A Rolls Royce pulls up in front of a really expensive restaurant and a really rich sheik gets out from it followed by a harem of women, and a rooster. The "party" is escorted to a table and given a menu.When time to order the sheik orders for himself and the harem, and also asks for a basket of apples for the rooster. The waiter thinks it a bit strange, but does as is asked, and brings the apples for the rooster. One by one, the rooster eats all of the apples. Havingnoticed this, the sheik orders another basket of apples for the rooster. Again the rooster eats all the apples.When summoned again, the waiter asks the sheik about the voracious appetite of the rooster.The sheik explains:"I was in the desert one day and found a lamp.It was a bit dirty so I rubbed it to clean it.Just as I did, out came a Genie and granted me three wishes...My first wish was to have an endless supply of money. My second wish was to have many beatiful women.And my third wish was to have an more...

A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door.
"An` wot`s this then?" he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher`s shins.
"You dumb dog." As he reaches down to smack the dog, he notices a note and a ten dollar bill in the basket.
The scribble on the note asks for three pounds of his best mince [ground beef]. The butcher figures this is too easy. He goes to the window and reaches for the dried up stuff that`s been sitting out all day.
The dog growls at him. The butcher turns around and, glaring at the pup, gets the best mince from the fridge. Weighing out about 2 1/2 pounds, he drops in on the scale with his thumb.
"Hmmmmm, a bit shy. Who`ll know?"
Again, the dog growls menacingly. "Alright, alright," as he throws on a generous half pound. He wraps it out, drops it in the basket, and drops in change from a five. The more...

The teacher put two baskets of treats on her desk, a basket of apples and a basket of cookies.
She told the students to each take only one treat.
Next to the basket of apples was a sign:
Take only one, God is watching.
As one little boy reached over to take a cookie, the boy next to him said, "Take all you want, God's watching the apples"!

The teacher put two baskets of treats on her desk, a basket of apples and a basket of cookies.She told the students to each take only one treat.Next to the basket of apples was a sign:Take only one, God is watching.As one little boy reached over to take a cookie, the boy next to him said, "Take all you want, God's watching the apples"!

A grey-bearded Sardarji boarded the Air India flight to London carrying a basket in his arms which he held close to his chest. He pressed the call-button to summon the stewardess. "Bibi," he addressed the girl kindly, "are you sure our pilot knows how to fly the plane properly? Do find out if he has a driving licence and has taken enough petrol for the journey." The girl assured him that the Captain was an experienced pilot and had taken enough fuel to get the plane to London.
A few minutes later he pressed the call bell again and asked the girl: "Find out if the engine was properly overhauled before we left and there is enough air in the tyres. Did he check them for punctures?" the girl reassured him again and asked: "Babaji why are you worried about your life? We will get you safely to
London."
"I'm not worried about myself," the old man replied, "I am worried about what I am carrying in this basket. You see I more...