Basket Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man was blissfully driving along the highway when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place. Candy, too.
The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful bunny was dead.
The driver felt guilty and began to cry. A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.' 'I feel terrible,'' he explained.' 'I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?''
The woman told the man not to worry. She said she knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk and pulled more...
My uncle Jack served in the late 60s on the aircraft carrier USS Ranger, CVA-61, in the Tonkin Gulf off the east coast of Vietnam. Having spent his youth with Ham radio, he became an electronics technician. He came aboard fresh from high school, Basic Training, and the US Navy’s radio repairman’s school.
In the radio shop, as probably elsewhere on the ship, in the Navy, and in military life in general, life is regulated by a strict hierarchy. In small organizational units, where the hierarchy is rather flat, the
pecking order must be decided by some means other than stripe count. In the Ranger’s radio repair shop, the man with the least seniority was assigned to arrive earlier in the morning to make the coffee, so it would be ready by the time the rest of the crew arrived.
The first morning out of port, the chief petty officer was giving him the shop tour, focusing closely on coffee-making procedures.
“Ya see kid, first ya put eight scoops of coffee in da more...
We should all be on the look out for people in our Company who do things like
this.
Sightings of the Stupid ---
Sighting #1:
I was busy writing some computer program for one of my classes and my
roommate asked me if he could use my coffee maker. I said, "sure." The
next thing I hear is, "Hey, where do you put the coffee?" I turn to
see that he has filled the filter basket with water and is
(unsuccessfully) trying to keep the water in the basket by plugging
the hole at the bottom with his finger. He and the floor are both
covered with water.
Sighting #2:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport
employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?" I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I
know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."
Sighting #3:
The stoplight more...
They say "don't put all your eggs in one basket," but I have OCD, so either they all go in one basket or I'm not gonna be able to concentrate.
There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously, the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed. With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever it breaks."
There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength.
Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying.
One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed. With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope.
The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever it breaks."
Once upon a time, there lived a poor cap seller in a small village (in India): -) He earned his livelihood stiching caps and selling them in the neighboring villages. Once when going to another village through a forest, he fell asleep under a tree. When he woke up, he was surprised to find his basket empty and all the caps missing. Then he noticed a troop of monkeys sitting in the tree wearing his caps. He came up with a brilliant idea to retrieve his caps. He lifted the cap on his head and threw it to the ground. Out of their apeing habits the monkeys followed suit. The cap seller, then collected all the caps and triumphantly proceeded to the market.
As the years pass by, the cap seller has a grandson who too ends up being a cap seller. One day he has to pass through the same forest to sell caps in the village on the other side. As he is leaving, his grandpa tells him of the monkeys and how he outsmarted them and warns the grandson to be careful in the forest and remember his more...