Bathing Jokes / Recent Jokes

A rather well proportioned young lady, Joan, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of the hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day but, on the second, being a naturist, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear."Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs."The hotel doesn't mind you sunbathing on the roof but we would very much appreciate you wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday.""What difference does it make," Joan asked rather calmly."No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel.""Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."

Joan, a rather well-proportioned & near-sighted secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first few days, but always removed her glasses for an even facial tan. After several days she decided that no one could see her way up there, so she slipped out of her suit for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs; she was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear. "Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The hotel doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you have for the past week." "What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel." "Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on more...

Joan, the rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of
her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit
the frist day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her
way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly
begun when she heard someone running up the stairs; she was lying on her
stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.
"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of
the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't
mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your
wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."
"What difference does it make," Joan asked rather calmly. "No one
can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."
"Indeed," said the man, "but we would prefer you didn't lie on
the dining room more...

Joan, who was a rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear. "Excuse me, miss," said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday." "What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel." "Not exactly," said the embarrassed man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."

Joan, who was rather well-proportioned, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan.
She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.
"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."
"What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."
"Not exactly," said the embarrassed man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."

Barbie
c/o Mattel, Inc.
El Segundo, CA 90245

Santa Claus
North Pole, North Pole
December 23, 1996
Dear Santa:
Listen you ugly little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas
Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many
tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had
better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and
trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it). So, here's my holiday wish list for 1998:

Santa:
1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker.
How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels
like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt?
2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. more...

1. Enter the stall. Shower for about 3 minutes, then scream really loudly, exclaiming, "I didn't know I had one of THOSE!"
2. Enter the stall, fully clothed. Do not undress and make sure you clothes get all wet & soapy. Complain when leaving the bathroom that your shirt tends to bleed all over.
3. Ask Scottie to beam you up.
4. Enter the stall, undress and then re-dress up as Superman. Leap out of the stall, vengefully vow to stop Lex Luthor's evil plot, then run full force into the wall. Stand up, shake your head, and proceed to take your
shower.
5. Bring a bottle of fake blood or ketchup into the shower with you. Exclaim "Ow, you know, it really hurts when you pop one of those." Then let the blood/ketchup seep down the drain for all to see.
6. Look over the edge to the person showering next to you, giggle, and then return to your side, whistling the tune "It's a Small World After All."
7. Bring in a rubber chicken. Get it all more...