Bathroom Jokes / Recent Jokes

On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "my dear, we are married now, you can open your robe."The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. "Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture." Puzzled she asks, "MY picture?" He answers, "yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever". She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "why do you wear a robe? We are married now." at that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture". He beams and asks, "why?" She answers, "SO I CAN GET IT ENLARGED"!

Five friends lived in a room, Namely MAD, BRAIN, FOOL, NOBODY, SOMEBODY.

One day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY. At that time BRAIN was in bathroom, MAD called police.

MAD: Is it police station? ??

Police: Yes, what is the matter? ??

MAD: SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.

Police: Are you mad?

MAD: Yes, I'm MAD.

Police: Don`t you have BRAIN.

MAD: BRAIN is in bathroom...

Police: you FOOL...
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MAD: No, FOOL is reading this joke..

A woman goes to the doctor's and says, "Doctor, Doctor, you have to help me. Every time I go to the bathroom, DIMES come out!"The doctor tells her to relax, go home, rest with her feet up and come back in a week.A week later the woman returns and says, "Doctor, Doctor, it's gotten worse! Every time I go to the bathroom, QUARTERS come out! What's wrong with me?"Again the doctor tells her to relax, go home, rest with her feet up and come back in a week. Another week passes and the woman returns and yells, "Doctor, Doctor, I'm still not getting better! Every time I go to the bathroom, HALF-DOLLARS come out! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME?!!"The doctor says, "Relax, Relax,... you're just going through your change!"

On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom showered and wearing a beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished."Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture. Puzzled she asks, "My picture?" He answers, "Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever".
She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "Why do you wear a robe? We are married now." At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture". He beams and asks why and she answers, "So I can get it enlarged!"

One day three brother's are down in the basement playing. They come across a carton of BB's that went along with their father's old Red Rider BB Gun. Since their father had the BB Gun locked away upstairs, they decided to just put the BB's in their mouths and spit them at each other. They were having a pretty fun time, but every once in a while they would each swallow a few while they were running and romping around. Pretty soon they moved on to other activities and cleaned up the remainder of the BB's. After a few hours, one of the boys runs from the bathroom to his mother screaming, "MOMMY, MOMMY, I'M PISSING BB's." Confused, his mother sends him to his room to lay down for a while. A few minutes later, the second of the brother's run's out of the bathroom screaming, "MOMMY, MOMMY, I'M PISSING BB's." Perplexed, the mother sends the second boy to his room also. She sits a few minutes while she plans what to ask her two sons about the matter. Then, the third more...

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.


The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.


I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.


For the last time, there more...

You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.