Bathtub Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

The British Government's policy of socialized medicine has recently been broadened to include a service called "Proxy Fathers". Under the government plan, any married woman who is unable to become pregnant through the first five years of her marriage may request the service of a proxy father-- a government employee who attempts to solve the couple's problem by impregnating the wife.

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The Smiths, a young couple, have no children and a proxy father is due to arrive at any time. Leaving for work, Mr. Smith says, "I'm off. The government man should be here soon."

Moments later a door-to-door baby photographer rings the doorbell...

Mrs. Smith: "Good morning."

Salesman: "Good morning, madam. You don't know me, but I've come to..."

Mrs. Smith: "No need to explain, I've been expecting you."

Salesman: "Really? Well, good. I've made a specialty of more...

Your momma is so fat...
First she fills the bathtub, THEN she turns on the water!

After wedding a young couple rented a town house in a large complex. Concerned about a leak in an upstairs bathroom, young woman called the manager several times, but nothing happened. Finally her husband reached the manager and, noting the seriousness of the problem, said, " My wife is afraid the bathtub will fall through the kitchen." "Oh, no," the manager quickly replied. "The bathtub falls through the living room."

Some of you may not find these at all funny but their is defintely a demographic that loves them. We decided to just collect as many as possible and throw them all onto one page. Enjoy!
Yo mamma's so fat she had her ears pierced by harpoon.
Yo mamma's so fat her clothes have stretch marks.
Yo mamma's so fat she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones.
Yo mamma's so fat, she has two stomaches...one for meats and one for vegetables.
Yo mamma's so fat she needs a hula hoop to keep up her socks.
Yo mamma's so fat when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
Yo mamma's so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mamma's so fat, her belt size is equator.
Yo mamma's so fat, when she fell in love she broke it.
Yo mamma's so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mamma's so fat, every time she puts an apple in her mouth people try to roast her.
Yo mamma's so fat, when she turns around more...

The British Government's policy of socialized medicine has
recently been broadened to include a service called "Proxy Fathers". Under
the Government plan, any married woman who is unable to become pregnant
through the first five years of her marriage may request a service of a
proxy father, a government employee who attempts to solve the couple's
problem by impregnating the wife.
The Smiths, a young couple, have no children and a proxy father is
due to arrive. Leaving for work, Mr. Smith says, "I am off. The Government
man should be here soon." Moments later a salesperson rings the bell......
Ms. Smith: "Good morning"
Salesman: "Good morning madam. You don't know me, but I've come to....."
Ms. Smith: "No need to explain, I've been expecting you"
Salesman: "Really? Well, good. I've made a speciality of babies,
especially twins"
Ms. Smith: "That's what more...

Two hippies were waiting at the bus stop along with a nun with her leg in a cast. The first hippie asked, "Sister, how did you break you leg?"
"I slipped in the bathtub," she said.
The second hippie asked the first, "What's a bathtub?"
"How should I know, I'm not Catholic!"