Baxter Jokes

Baxter ConnersVice PresidentCompany 203203 Wall St. New York, NY 10015Dear Mr. Conners, Thank you for your letter of February 17th. After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your bank. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite Company 203's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation. I look forward to seeing you then. Sincerely, XXXXXXXX

Um, well...
Three prisoners attempt an escape from Alcatraz, but are caught
and must be punished.
Prison Guard: "OK, the governor has prescribed punishment of three
lashes each, but you may have on your back the covering
of your choice. Jenkins, you first. What ya want on
your back?"
Jenkins: "Oil."
PG: "OK, then. Slop it on. Good. Now... ONE!"
Jenkins: " AAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHHH!"
PG: "TWO!"
Jenkins: "Oh GOD! MERCY! MERCY!"
PG: "THREE!"
Jenkins: "AAAARRRghhhhh (faints)"
PG: "Next, you Baxter, what do you want on your back?"
Baxter (extra tough macho type of guy): "Nothing."
PG: "Have it your way... ONE!"
Baxter: "Didn't feel it."
PG: "TWO!"
Baxter: "Ha, ha, ha!"
PG: "THREE!"
Baxter: "No sweat."
PG: "Finally you, Goldstein. What you want more...