Beard Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day Nasrudin was walking along a deserted road. Night was
falling as he spied a troop of horsemen coming toward him. His
imagination began to work, and he feared that they might rob him,
or impress him into the army. So strong did this fear become that
he leaped over a wall and found himself in a graveyard. The other
travelers, innocent of any such motive as had been assumed by
Nasrudin, became curious and pursued him.
When they came upon him lying motionaless, one said, "Can we help
you? And, why are you here in this position?"
Nasrudin, realizing his mistake said, "It is more complicated
than you assume. You see, I am here because of you; and you, you
are here because of me."
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EVEN THE INNOCENCE HAVE GUILT
One day he disagreed with the prior of a monastery at which he
was staying. Shortly afterward, a bag of rice was missing. more...

A woman is riding a bus in the Midwest, when a man gets on the bus and sits down next to her. He's wearing a black hat, long black coat, black slacks and shoes, and he has a long curly dark beard.
The woman looks at him disgustedly. "Jews like you," she hisses at him.
He looks up at her, puzzled, and says, "I beg your pardon, madam?"
She says, "Look at you. All in black, a beard, never take off your hat! It's Jews like you that give the rest of us a bad name."
He says calmly, "I beg your pardon, madam, but I am not Jewish. I'm Amish."
The woman looks back and smiles, "How nice. You've kept your customs."

Best friends, Vinnie and Hank, are in their local bar, having a few drinks. Vinnie leans over and starts stroking Hank's beard. Vinnie says, "Your face feels just like my wife's pussy."
Hank strokes it himself and says, "Ya, you're right!"

A bearded Bengali and a sardar got into an argument over which state had produced more freedom fighters - Bengal or Punjab. They decided that for every patriot each named from his state, he would be entitled to pluck out a hair from the other's beard.
The Bengali opened the offensive with Khudi Ram Bose and tweaked a hair from the sardar s beard. The sardar responded with Bhagat Singh and plucked one out of the Bengali's beard. And so it went painfully on, with the Bengali evidently having an endless list of Bengali nationalists up his sleeve.
The sardar came to the end of his list. Then with great gusto he yelled,' Jalianwala Bagh,' and yanked the Bengali's beard off his chin.

On Halloween night a kid is standing on a bench with a fake beard, fake fangs, a tennis racket, a baseball cap, and a purple cape.
A snobby man walks by and says, "What are you supposed to be?"
The kid says, "Duh! I'm a kid standing on a bench wearing fake fangs, a fake beard, a baseball cap, a purple cape and holding a tennis racket! What did you think I was?"

Once A Rich Man Tells A Doctor There Is A War Beetwen America And Japan I Dont Want To Fight For This War! Please Can You
Remove My Eyeballs Doctor: Yes I Can Remove Your Eyeballs. Man: Thank You. Then The Doctor Keeps The Eyeballs In A Shelf. Once A
Dog Cames To The Clinic And Breaks The Shelf And Removes 1 Eyeball Then The Doctor Sees 1 Eyeball Is Missing! Then He Makes A
Muddy Eyeball And Keeps It In The Shelf. A Few Maonths Later The Man Bees Back And Tells The Doctor Put My Eyeballs Back To
Me. He Puts Both The Eyeballs Back To Him. A Few Months Later The Man Sees Half Side Beard Is Growing Half Side Grass And
Flowers Are Growing.

Once upon a time, a man decided to vacation on a cruise ship
in the Caribbean. It was wonderful-the experience of his
life! He was waited upon hand and foot. But, alas, it did
not last. A hurricane came up suddenly and the ship went
down. The man found himself, he knew not how, swept up on the
shore of an island. There was nothing else anywhere to be
seen. No person, no supplies, nothing.
The man looked around. There were some bananas and coconuts,
but that was it. He was desperate and forlorn, but decided to
make the best of it. So for the next four months he ate
bananas, drank coconut juice and mostly looked to the sea
mightily for a ship to come to his rescue.
One day, as he was lying on the beach stroking his beard and
looking for a ship, he spotted movement out of the corner of
his eye. Could it be true, was it a ship? No, from around
the corner of the island came a rowboat. In it was the most
gorgeous woman he had more...