Bedroom Jokes / Recent Jokes
A
man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing
a suitcase. He says,"What are you doing?" She
answers, "I'm moving to Las Vegas. I heard prostitutes
there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for
free!"
Later that night on her way out the wife walks
into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his
suitcase. When she asks him where he's going, he
replies... "I'm going to Vegas too. I want
to see you live on $800 a year!"
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. ? Hurry!? she said. ? Stand in the corner.? She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. ? Don? t move until I tell you to,? she whispered. ? Just pretend you? re a statue.?
? What? s this, honey? the husband inquired as he entered the room. ? Oh, it? s just a statue,? she replied nonchalantly. ? The Smith? s bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us, too.? No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep.
Around two o? clock in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk. ? Here,? he said to the ? statue,? ? Eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths? for three days, and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water.?
If you put 30 female Apes and 30 male Apes in a bedroom, what do you have? A very large bedroom.
Mrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair. The first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, "I wear a wig, because I was born totally hairless. Not a hair on my body, not even down there."
That night, Mrs. Schmidlap tells her husband. He says, "I've never seen anything like that. Please tomorrow, ask her to go into the bedroom and show you. I want to hide in the closet so I can have a look."
The next day, Mrs. Schmidlap asks the girl, the two of them go into the bedroom, and the girl strips and shows her. Then the girl says, "I've never seen one with hair on it. Can I see yours?"
So Mrs. Schmidlap pulls off her clothes and shows her. That night, Mrs. Schmidlap says to her husband, "I hope you're satisfied, because I was pretty embarrassed when that girl asked to see mine."
Her husband says, "You think YOU were embarrassed? I had the four guys I play poker with in the closet with me."
Mrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair. The first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, "I wear a wig, because I was born totally hairless. Not a hair on my body, not even down there." That night, Mrs. Schmidlap tells her husband. He says, "I've never seen anything like that. Please tomorrow, ask her to gointo the bedroom and show you. I want to hide in the closet so I can have a look." The next day, Mrs. Schmidlap asks the girl, the two of them go into the bedroom, and the girl strips and shows her.Then the girl says, "I've never seen one with hair on it. Can I see yours?"So Mrs. Schmidlap pulls off her clothes and shows her. That night, Mrs. Schmidlap says to her husband, "I hope you're satisfied, because I was pretty embarrassed when that girl asked to see mine." Her husband says, "You think you were embarrassed...I had the four guys I play poker with in the closet with me."
Mrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair. The first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, "I wear a wig, because I was born totally hairless. Not a hair on my body, not even down there." That night, Mrs. Schmidlap tells her husband. He says, "I've never seen anything like that. Please tomorrow, ask her to gointo the bedroom and show you. I want to hide in the closet so I can have a look." The next day, Mrs. Schmidlap asks the girl, the two of them go into the bedroom, and the girl strips and shows her. Then the girl says, "I've never seen one with hair on it. Can I see yours?"So Mrs. Schmidlap pulls off her clothes and shows her. That night, Mrs. Schmidlap says to her husband, "I hope you're satisfied, because I was pretty embarrassed when that girl asked to see mine." Her husband says, "You think you were embarrassed... I had the four guys I play poker with in the closet with me."