Bee Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two bees buzz around what's left of a rose bush. "How was your summer?" asks bee number one. "Not too good," sez bee two. "Lotta rain, lotta cold. Not enough flowers, not enough pollen." The first bee has an idea. "Hey, why don't you go down the corner and hang a left? There's a bar mitzvah going on. Plenty of flowers and fruit." Bee two buzzes, "Thanks!" and takes off. An hour later, the bees bump into each other again. "How was the bar mitzvah?" asks the info-bee. "Great!" sez buddy-bee. The first bee peers at his pal and wonders, "What's that on your head?" "A yarmulke," is the answer. "I didn't want them to think I was a wasp."

A man and a woman have just finished shagging when suddenly a bee flies in the bedroom window and zooms straight up the woman's love tunnel.

' Oh God!' she screams.' Help me! There's a bee up my vagina and it's buzzing around in there (albeit rather pleasurably)!'

' Let's go says her mate, I'll rush you straight to hospital!'

On arrival at the emergency room the agitated couple are ushered into a curtained-off area by a male doctor.
' What seems to be the problem?' he asks.

' I've got a frigging bee up my vagina' screams the woman.' Get it out!'

' I see,' says the doctor.'Well, there's only one way to extract this bee. I'm going to have to spread honey on my nob and entice it out.'

The doctor gets out his old fella and dunks it in a jar of honey he just happens to have with him. He then mounts the woman and penetrates her with his sticky sweet love stick.

' Just an inch or two should do it,' he more...

There are three bees in a jar. A girl bee, and 2 guy bees!
One of the guy bees goes up to the girl bee and says:

"how do you get out of the jar?"
She says:
" fuck me and I will tell you"
so he does and she says:
" fly to the top of the jar really fast and knock the cap off"
and he does it hits his head and dies.
The next bee comes to her and asks:

"how do you get out of the jar?"
She says:
" fuck me and I will tell you"
so he does and she says:
" fly to the top of the jar really fast and knock the cap off"
and he does it hits his head and dies.
How did she get out of the jar?


fuck me and I'll tell you!!!!!!

Buzz Buzz Buzz
A man and a woman have just finished shagging when suddenly a bee flies in the bedroom window and zooms straight up the woman's love tunnel.
'Oh God!' she screams.' Help me! There's a bee up my vagina and it's buzzing around in there (albeit rather pleasurably)!'
'Let's go says her mate, I'll rush you straight to hospital!'
On arrival at the emergency room the agitated couple are ushered into a curtained-off area by a male doctor.
' What seems to be the problem?' he asks.
'I've got a frigging bee up my vagina' screams the woman.' Get it out!'
'I see,' says the doctor.'Well, there's only one way to extract this bee. I'm going to have to spread honey on my nob and entice it out.'
The doctor gets out his old fella and dunks it in a jar of honey he just happens to have with him. He then mounts the woman and penetrates her with his sticky sweet love stick.
'Just an inch or two should do it,' he says.
After a few seconds he more...

Our team is doing so badly that "Manager of the Month" isn't an award. It's an appointment! Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding? They got jellygated! Which insect didn't play well in goal? The fumble bee! What did the bumble bee striker say? Hive scored! What is black and white and black and white and black and white? A Newcastle fan rolling down a hill! What are Brazilian fans called? Brazil nuts! Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch? He was the skipper! How do hens encourage their football teams? They egg them on!

Our team is doing so badly that "Manager of the Month" isn't an award.
It's an appointment!

Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding?
They got jellygated!

Which insect didn't play well in goal?
The fumble bee!

What did the bumble bee striker say?
Hive scored!

What is black and white and black and white and black and white?
A Newcastle fan rolling down a hill!

What are Brazilian fans called?
Brazil nuts!

Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch?
He was the skipper!

How do hens encourage their football teams?
They egg them on!

What do you get if you cross a bee with a parrot? An animal thats always telling you how busy it is!