Begs Jokes / Recent Jokes
One night George Bush awakens from a fitfull sleep to find himself visited by the ghost of George Washington. Dubya begs of Washington's spirit, "Tell me: As president, what's the best thing I can do for my country?"
"That's easy," replies Washington's Ghost. "Set an honest and honorable example, just like I did." And with that he was gone.
On the next night George Bush awakens from a fitfill sleep to find himself visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. Duby begs of Jefferson's spirit, "Tell me: As president, what's the best thing I can do for my country?"
"That's easy," replies Jefferson's Ghost. "Cut taxes and streamline the federal government, just like I did." And with that he was gone.
On the third night George Bush awakens from a fitfull sleep to find himself visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Dubya begs of Lincoln's spirit, "Tell me: As president, what's the best thing I can do for my more...
This guy Jed has been walking for hours after being stranded. He finally comes upon a house. Jed goes up to the front door and knocks and a lady answers.
Jed explains what happened and asks, "Could I have some food or something to drink."
The lady tells him, "No. You must go away."
Jed begs and begs; the lady keeps saying no.
He finally asks, "Do you want me to throw a redneck tantrum?"
She says, "I don't care what you do, but if you don't leave, I'm calling the police."
He goes over to he clothes line, rips all her clothes off the line, throws them on the ground, and stomps on them. Then he goes over to he cat and tears all of its hair out. After that he goes over to her donkey and kisses it.
Finally the lady calls the police and says, "He tore off my clothes, ripped the hair out of my pussy, and just kissed my ass!"
The officer on the phone line says, "Sorry ma'am but by the time we get the you're more...
A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms or legs.
The son is just a head!
But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.
After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy.
With the entire bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy.
The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again.
The patrons chant "Take another drink"!
The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.
Swoooop! Two arms pop out! The bar goes wild.
The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another more...
A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him. Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "take another drink!" The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "take another drink!" The bartender ignores the whole affair. more...
A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him. Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "take another drink!" The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "take another drink!" The bartender ignores the whole affair. more...