Belief Jokes

Legalese Night Before Christmas*

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS in Legalese (Author unknown)

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.

A variety of foot apparel, e. g., stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus") would arrive at sometime thereafter. The minor residents, i. e. the children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i. e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.

Whereupon the party of the first part more...

A WIFE to her husband:' Can you tell me the difference between Truth and Belief?'
Husband, replying thoughtfully after a short pause:' Look, Dear, "Raju is your son" is a Truth; "Raju is my son" is a Belief.'

The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher probability of its success.

Contrary to popular belief Tattoos are not permanent.
They usually rot away a few days after you die.

Contrary to popular belief, God's last name is not damn.