Bicycle Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Kid was walking to the bathroom, when he saw through the slightly open door, his mother was in there. She was buck naked and looking into the mirror while rubbing her breasts and moaning "I want a man. I NEED a man!".
The next day, the same thing happens: the kid is about to enter the bathroom and sees his mother rubbing her naked body in front of the mirror "I want a man. I NEED a man"
But the next day, when the kid is on the way to the bathroom, his passes his mother's bedroom, where some guy is humping her while she screams "I got a man, OH GOD, I got a man!!".
The kid immediately runs to the bathroom, stripping off his clothes on the way, then stands in front of the mirror rubbing his body saying "I want a bicycle. I NEED a bicycle!"....

John: I don't know what to buy - a cow or a bicycle. Peter: You will look silly riding a cow. John: I will look even sillier trying to milk a bicycle.

Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? A: It might be your bicycle.

A man lost his brand new bicycle and lodged a complaint at the police station.' Please give particulars of the bicycle,' ordered the inspector.
'Hero, brand new, black frame, black saddle, black carrier, silver bell.'
That description would fit every new bicycle,' interrupted the official.' Tell me something special about your machine.'
After thinking over the problem for a moment, the man replied.' Thanedar sahib, every time a lady's cycle is parked alongside it, its bell begins to ring.'

A graduate student of mathematics who used to come to the university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle.

"Where did you get the bike from?" his friends want to know.

"It's a `thank you' present", he explains, "from that freshman girl I've been tutoring. But the story is kind of weird..."

"Tell us!"

"Well", he starts, "yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that she had passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to thank me in person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her bicycle.

But when I had let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes off, lay down on my bed, smiled at me, and said: `You can get from me whatever you desire!'"

One of his friends remarks: "You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle."

"Yeah", another friend adds, "just imagine how silly you more...

A guy walks in and asks the bartender, "Isn't that Bush and Cheney sitting over there?" The bartender says, "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WWIII. And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 60 million Iranians this time and one bicycle repairman."
The guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman!!! Why kill a bicycle repairman?"
Bush turns to Cheney, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, dummy! I told you no one would worry about the 60 million Iranians!"

John: I don't know what to buy - a cow or a bicycle.Peter: You will look silly riding a cow.John: I will look even sillier trying to milk a bicycle.