Biologist Jokes / Recent Jokes
Enzymes are things invented by biologists that explain things which otherwise require harder thinking.
When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
Thesaurus is an ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.
It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.
Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
Sterility is hereditary: If your grandfather didn't have children and your father didn't have children, you won't have children too.
Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
Biologists do it with clones.
Botanists do it in the bushes.
Zoologists do it with animals.
How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it takes eight million years.
A chemist, a biologist, and an electrical engineer were on death row waiting for the electric chair. The chemist was brought forward first.
"Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner, strapping him in.
"No," replied the chemist. The executioner flicked the switch, and nothing happened.
Under state law, if an execution attempt fails, the prisoner has to be released, so the chemist was released.
Then the biologist was brought forward.
"Do you have anything you want to say?"
"No, just get on with it."
The executioner flicked the switch, and again nothing happened, so the biologist was released.
Then the electrical engineer was brought forward.
"Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner.
"Yes," replied the engineer. "If you swap the red and the blue wires over, you might make this thing work."
How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.
A young biologist was sitting on a stump at the edge of their camp. On his face was the saddest hangdog expression. One of the other biologists saw his sad looks and asked, "Whats the matter?"The young biologist said, "They put me in the same tent with old Doctor Perkins. He snores all night, takes a bath once a month, and talks non-stop about back when he studied passenger pigeons. Hes so damn old, I think he was a lackey for Charles Darwin. He generally just makes my life Hell. We had a big fight about it and they split us up for a month"The older biologist said, "That should make you happy." The young biologist sadly shook his head and said, "Not when the month is up today!"