Biologist Jokes / Recent Jokes

A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.

The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. Obviously he was drowned and never returned.

The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. He too, never returned.

The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote the observation, "The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water".

A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, "How was I born?""Well honey..." said the slightly prudish mother, "the stork brought you to us.""Oh," said the boy, "and how did you and daddy get born?""Oh, the stork brought us too.""Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" the boy persisted."Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the mother, by now starting to squirm a little. Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence: "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasnt been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."

There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says "Jump frog, jump!". The frog jumps 2 feet. He writes in his lab book:' Frog with 4 legs - jumps 2 feet'.

Next he chops off one of the legs and repeats the experiment. "Jump frog jump!" he says. The frog manages to jump 1. 5 feet. So he writes in his lab book:' Frog with 3 legs - jumps 1. 5 feet'.

He chops off another and the frog only jumps 1 foot. He writes in his book:' Frog with 2 legs jumps 1 foot'.

He continues and removes yet another leg. " Jump frog jump!" and the frog somehow jumps a half of a foot. So he writes in his lab book again:' Frog with one leg - jumps 0. 5 feet'.

Finally he chops off the last leg. He puts the frog on the line and teels it to jump. "Jump frog, jump!". The frog doesn't move. "Jump frog, jump!!!". Again the more...

A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician were sitting in a street caf

A chemist, a biologist and an electrical engineer were on death row waiting
to go in the electric chair. The chemist was brought forward first.
"Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner,
strapping him in.
"No," replied the chemist. The executioner flicked the switch and
nothing happened.
Under this particular State's law, if an execution attempt fails, the
prisoner is to be released, so the chemist was released.
Then the biologist was brought forward.
"Do you have anything you want to say?"
"No, just get on with it."
The executioner flicked the switch, and again nothing happened, so the
biologist was released.
Then the electrical engineer was brought forward.
"Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner.
"Yes," replied the engineer. "If you swap the red and the blue wires over,
you might make this thing work."

A young wildlife biologist got fired from his first real wildlife job. Upon his return home, his parents asked him what happened."You know what a crew boss is?" he asked. "The one who stands around and watches everyone else work." "Whats that got to do with it?" they asked. "Well, he just got jealous of me," the young biologist explained. "Everyone thought I was the crew boss."

A biologist, a statistician, a mathematician and a computer scientist are on a
photo-safari in Africa. They drive out on the savanna in their jeep, stop and
scout the horizon with their binoculars.
The biologist: "Look! There is a herd of zebras! And there, in the middle, a
white zebra! It is fantastic! There are white zebras! We will be famous!"
The statistician: "It is not significant. We only know there is one white
zebra."
The mathematician: "Actually, we only know there exists a zebra, which is white
on one side."
The computer scientist: "Oh, no! A special case!"