Biology Jokes / Recent Jokes

In biology class the teacher asks, "Can anyone tell me why a flounder is flat?" Little Johnny raises his hand.
"Go ahead, Little Johnny."
"My uncle told me it's because a whale raped the flounder."
"That's terrible, Little Johnny. I'll have to speak to your parents about this. Let's try another one. Why does a lobster's eyes protrude from its head?"
Again Little Johnny raises his hand.
"We'll give you another chance."
"My uncle said when the whale raped the flounder, the lobster saw it, and his eyes popped out in shock."

A seventh grade Biology teacher arranged a demonstration for his class.
He took two earth worms and in front of the class he did the following:
He dropped the first worm into a beaker of water where it dropped to the
bottom and wriggled about. He dropped the second worm into a beaker of Ethyl
alchohol and it immediately shriveled up and died. He asked the class if
anyone knew what this demonstration was intended to show them.
A boy in the second row immediately shot his arm up and, when called on said:
"You're showing us that if you drink alcohol, you won't have worms."

Jr: This year I failed every class except biology.
Mary: How did you do that?
Jr: Easy, I didn't take biology

Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a
mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have
bitten?
A. The boy's hand

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-days and if
it doesn't come means you are in big trouble.

Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology.
When the baby looks like the neighbour, then it is sociology.

Q: What's the height of recycling?
A: Sending a sanitary napkin for dry cleaning

Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals
a day as I have advised?
A. Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day

Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath.
Tarzan more...

Before I came to college I wish I had known...
that it didn't matter how late I scheduled my first class I'd sleep right through it.
that I would change so much and barely realize it.
that you can love a lot of people in a lot of different ways.
that college kids throw airplanes, too.
that if you wear polyester everyone will ask you why you're so dressed up.
that every clock on campus shows a different time.
that if you were smart in high school - so what?
that I would go to a party the night before a final.
that chem labs require more time than all my other classes put together.
that you can know everything and fail a test.
that you can know nothing and ace a test.
that I could get used to almost anything I found out about my roomie.
that home is a great place to visit.
that most of my education would be obtained outside my classes.
that friendship is more than getting drunk together.
that I would be one of those people more...