"Before I came to college I wish I had known..." joke

Before I came to college I wish I had known...
that it didn't matter how late I scheduled my first class I'd sleep right through it.
that I would change so much and barely realize it.
that you can love a lot of people in a lot of different ways.
that college kids throw airplanes, too.
that if you wear polyester everyone will ask you why you're so dressed up.
that every clock on campus shows a different time.
that if you were smart in high school - so what?
that I would go to a party the night before a final.
that chem labs require more time than all my other classes put together.
that you can know everything and fail a test.
that you can know nothing and ace a test.
that I could get used to almost anything I found out about my roomie.
that home is a great place to visit.
that most of my education would be obtained outside my classes.
that friendship is more than getting drunk together.
that I would be one of those people my parents warned me about.
that free food served at 10:00 is gone by 9:50.
that Sunday is a figment of the world's imagination.
that psychology is really biology, biology is really chemistry, chemistry is really physics, and physics is really math.
that I really wouldn't be with that high school (boy/girl)friend for the rest of my life.
that dorms can be both your lifeline and personal hell at the same time.
that beer would play an intricate role in my future.
that Ramen and spaghetti would be my life.
how much I would miss my washer and dryer at home.
that I would no longer get allowance.
Thanx to William Conway.