Bird Jokes / Recent Jokes
The crucial memorandum will be snared in the out-basket.
The deadline is one week after the original deadline.
The deficiency will never show itself during the test run.
The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.
The difference between a stepping stone and a stumbling block can be when you see it.
The difference between art and science is that if something works in art, you don't have to explain why.
The difficulty with a research grant is that if you solve the problem, you're out of a job.
The early bird who catches the worm usually works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.
The early worm deserves the bird.
The easier it is to do, the harder it is to change.
Hillary Clinton went into a pet shop and spotted a beautiful parrot. "Can this parrot talk?" she asked. "Yes, he can," replied the manager. "Why are all the others $500, and this one only $50?" "Well," explained the manager, "not everyone would want to own this parrot since he spent years in a whore house and his language is somewhat foul."
"Well, I want him," Hillary said.
"Ok ma'am, suit yourself," the manager said with a shrug. When Hillary got the parrot to the White House, she uncovered the cage and stood admiring him. Tilting his head to one side, the parrot looked her in the eye and said, "New house, new madam." This made Hillary chuckle.
After a while, Chelsea and a friend came in and stopped to admire the bird. The bird looked back at them both and said, "New house, new whores."
Hillary quickly explained the bird's history to Chelsea and her friend, which gave them both a more...
When is the best time to buy budgies? When they're going cheap!
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasnt chicken
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence to collect the bird, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The lawyer replied, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field. Now I'm going in to retrieve it."
The old farmer looked the lawyer in the eyes and stated firmly, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The lawyer huffed angrily, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the country. If you don't let me get my duck, I'll sue you."
The old farmer smiled. "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Tennessee. We settle small disagreements like this with the Tennessee Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What's the Tennessee Three Kick Rule?"
The Farmer answered, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you more...
What do you get if you cross a giant, hairy monster with a penguin? I dont know but its a very tightfitting tuxedo.