Bite Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?" "No." A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg." I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly." That's not my dog."

There was a hound dog laying in the yard and an old geezer in overalls was sitting on the porch.' 'Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?'' a tourist asked. The old man looked up over his newspaper and replied,' 'Nope.'' As soon as the tourist stepped out of his car, the dog began snarling and growling, and then attacked both his arms and legs. As the tourist flailed around in the dust, he yelled,' 'I thought you said your dog didn't bite!'' The old man muttered,' 'Ain't my dog.''

A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?"
"No."
A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.
"That's not my dog."

A selection of headlines from the Mike Tyson-Evander Holyfield fight and its aftermath:
' 'A Bad Bite for Boxing'' - The News & Observer of Raleigh.
' 'Twice Bitten'' - Times-Picayune of New Orleans.
' 'Bite of the Century!'' - Arizona Republic.
' 'Bite Night'' - Lexington (Ky.) Herald-Leader.
' 'Tyson's Tasteless Tactics: Bite Night'' - The Record of Hackensack, N.J.
' 'Reality Bites'' - Times Union of Albany, N.Y.
' 'Did Tyson Bite Off More Than He Can Chew? Time Will Tell'' - Salt Lake Tribune.
' 'Tyson Subject of Biting Criticism'' - The (Baltimore) Sun.
' 'Biting Commentary'' - The Boston Herald.
' 'Tyson Bites the Dust, Holyfield'' - Huntsville (Ala.) Times.
' 'Holyfield May Take a Bite Out of Tyson'' - The Indianapolis Star.
' 'Holyfield Can't Stay Unbitten as Heavyweight'' - Sun-Sentinel, Fort Lauderdale, Fla.
' 'Earmarks of cowardice'' - Houston Chronicle.
' 'Earmark of an eerie night'' - The Atlanta more...

One dog said to her pups, "Don't ever bite the hand that feeds you. Any other hand is ok, though."

A man walks into a bar has a few drinks and asks what his tab was. The bartender replies that it is twenty dollars plus tip. The guy says, "I'll bet you my tab double or nothing that I can bite my eye." The bartender accepts the bet, and the guy pulls out his glass eye and bites it.
He has a few more drinks and asks for his bill again. The bartender reports that his bill now is thirty dollars plus tip. He bets the bartender he can bite his other eye. The bartender accepts knowing the man can't possibly have two glass eyes. The guy then proceeds by taking out his false teeth and biting his other eye.

Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight? A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!! Tyson's psychologist told Mike to take a year off, he obviously misunderstood.... good thing he didn't say two! Tyson's favorite football team-the Tampa Bay Buc-an-EARS. For the third fight between Mike and Evander, Tyson wants it to be held in Earie, PA. New Tyson burger: There is a piece of the champ in every bite!!! They are making a new boxing term for Tyson.... instead of KO, it will be a Van Gogh. "Evander was Van Gogh'd in the third!!!"Can't beat um... Eat um!!!! If Tyson fights Golatta, is it more points for a low blow or an ear bite? In this corner Evander "the Real Meal" Holyfield!!!!!!! Before the fight, Mike's trainer told him to get a piece of Holyfied. Oops, bad advice. Iron BITE Tyson, the heavyweight CHOMP of the world!