Bite Jokes / Recent Jokes

I bet you have never seen a plumber bite his nails.

Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight? A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!! Tyson's psychologist told Mike to take a year off, he obviously misunderstood.... good thing he didn't say two! Evander after the fight,"Maybe I shouldn't have told him to' Bite Me'" Tyson's favorite football team-the Tampa Bay Buc-an-EARS. For the third fight between Mike and Evander, Tyson wants it to be held in Earie, PA. New Tyson burger: There is a piece of the champ in every bite!!! They are making a new boxing term for Tyson.... instead of KO, it will be a Van Gogh. "Evander was Van Gogh'd in the third!!!" Can't beat um... Eat um!!!! If Tyson fights Golatta, is it more points for a low blow or an ear bite? In this corner Evander "the Real Meal" Holyfield!!!!!!! Before the fight, Mike's trainer told him to get a piece of Holyfied. Oops, bad advice. Iron BITE Tyson, the heavyweight CHOMP of the world!

There was a hound dog laying in the yard and an old geezer in overalls was sitting on the porch. ''Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?'' a tourist asked.
The old man looked up over his newspaper and replied, ''Nope.''
As soon as the tourist stepped out of his car, the dog began snarling and growling, and then attacked both his arms and legs. As the tourist flailed around in the dust, he yelled, ''I thought you said your dog didn't bite!''
The old man muttered, ''Ain't my dog.''

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye." The bartender says, "Yeah, right! I've never seen anyone do that!" So the man takes out his glass eye and bites it.
The angry bartender pays the man his fifty dollars and the man walks away. He comes back half an hour later and says, "I bet you fifty dollars I can bite my left eye." Now the bartender becomes really skeptical. She says, "I just saw you walk in here -- you can't be blind!" So he takes out his fake teeth and bites his left eye. The bartender pays him his money and he walks away.

One night a man decides to visit his local bar. He takes a seat and orders a beer. After polishing off his beer, he beckons the bartender over and says, "Betcha $20 I can bite my eye." The bartender scoffs and accepts. The man then calmly removes his false eye and bites it. The bartender grudgingly forks over a twenty.
Later that night, after a few more beers, the man wanders back to the bar and says rather drunkenly, "Hey barkeep, betcha another $20 I can bite my other eye."
Wanting to win back his money and seriously doubtful that the man has two false eyes, the bartender accepts. The man calmly removes his false teeth and bites his other eye. Scowling, the bartender hands over another twenty. The man leaves and wanders around the bar as he drinks a few more beers.
He strolls back over to the bar, leaning on it, again and calls the bartender, "Hey, barkeep," he burbles, "I'll give you a chance to win yer money back plus. Betcha $100 more...

One day a man is walking down the street when he sees an old man with a nice looking dog. He goes over to the man and asks:' does your dog bite?' the old man replies' No never'. When the man bends down to stroke the dog, it immediately takes a snap at his hand. The man says' I thought you said your dog did not bite!' I did' replies the old man, but this isn't my dog!'

While doing his deliveries, a mailman was greeted by a young boy and a huge dog. A little apprehensive, the mailman asked the boy if his dog bites.
"No, never" replied the boy.
Suddenly the huge dog lunged and bit the mailman. "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" shouted the mailman.
The boy replied, "My dog doesn't bite. That's not my dog!"