Bitter Jokes / Recent Jokes
man walks in to a bar ans see to girls at the end of the bar so he says ill have a pint of bitter nd what ever them to girls r haveing at the end of the bar the barman says u want get no were mate there lesbians the bloke says ill have a pint of bitter nd what ever them, to ladies r haveing at the en of then bar barman syas mate listen to me there lesbians the bloke says ill have a pint of bitter and what ever them to ladies are haveing at the end of the bar and with that the lesbians walk out of the bar the barman says to the bloke told you didnt i but one of the lesbians walk back in and says would you like to smell my girl friend pussy he says to right so she blows her breath in his face
man walks in to a bar nd see to girls at the end of the bar so he says ill have a pint of bitter nd what ever them to girls r haveing at the end of the bar the barman says u wnt get no were m8 there lesbians the bloke says ill have a pint of bitter nd what ever them, to ladies r haveing at the en of then bar barman syas m8 listen to me there lesbians the bloke says ill have a pint of bitter nd what ever them to ladies r haveing at the end of the bar and with that there lesbians walk out the barman says to the bloke told you didnt i but one of the lesbians walk back in and says would u like to smell my mates pussy he says her so she blows her breath in his face
As most of you know, a blast of bitter cold has struck a large part of the U. S. during the past week. One sharp observer in Washington D. C. noticed that it was so cold that the lawyer/lobyists had their hands in their own pockets for a change!
"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market," said the man.
"Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend.
"I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."
I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe. I don't live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese I don't bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breastsI can get where I want to - north, south, east or westI don't get wasted after only 2 beersand when I do drink I don't end up in tears. I won't spend hours deciding what to wear, I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hairand I don't go around checking my reflectionin everything shiny from every direction. I don't whine in public and make us leave earlyand when you ask why get all bitter and surly. I'm glad I'm a man, I'm so glad I could singI don't have to sit around waiting for that ring. I don't gossip about friends or stab them in the backI don't carry our differences into the sack. I'll never go psycho and threaten to kill you or think every guy out there's trying to steal you. I'm rational, reasonable, and logical tooI know what the time is and I know what to do. And I honestly think its a privilege for me to have these two balls more...
Some time after their bitter divorce, a man happened to pull up alongside his ex-wife at a traffic signal. He shouted over, "So... out looking for a little, huh? " She smiled sweetly and said, "No, I had 6 years of that with you. I'm out looking for a lot! !!"
I'M GLAD I'M A MAN I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe; I don't live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese. I don't bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts; I can get where I want to - north, south, east or west. I don't get wasted after only 2 beers; and when I do drink I don't end up in tears. I won't spend hours deciding what to wear; I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair. And I don't go around checking my reflection; in everything shiny from every direction. I don't whine in public and make us leave early; and when you ask why get all bitter and surly. I'm glad I'm a man, I'm so glad I could sing; I don't have to sit around waiting for that ring. I don't gossip about friends or stab them in the back; I don't carry our differences into the sack. I'll never go psycho and threaten to kill you; or think every guy out there's trying to steal you. I'm rational, reasonable, and logical too; I know what the time is and I know what to do. And I honestly think its a more...