Blanket Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "Im sorry to bother you but Im awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket." The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "Ive got a better idea... lets pretend were married." "Why not?" giggles the woman. "Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."
Train
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... let's pretend we're married."
"Why not," giggles the woman.
"Good," he replies. "Get your own damn blanket!"
A fire broke out in a six story apartment building last week in a near by town. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette escaped the flames by climbing up onto the roof. When the fire department arrived they got out a blanket held it up and the Chief called out to the brunette to jump into the blanket. The brunette jumped. As she was falling `swoosh` the firefighters pulled the blanket away and she landed on the street like a brick. The firefighters then held the blanket back up and the Chief told the redhead to jump. "No way! I saw what you did to my friend." exclaimed the redhead. "I am sorry" said the Chief, "My wife was a brunette and she divorced me. I just don`t like brunettes. We have no problems with redheads....jump it`s your only chance." So the redhead jumped. On the way down `swoosh` the firefighters pulled the blanket away and she hit the pavement like a tomato!" The firefighters again held up the blanket and the Chief told the blonde to more...
A priest and a nun are on their way back home from a trip when their car breaks down. They are unable to get it fixed, so they decide to spend the night in a hotel. The only hotel in the town has only one room available. Priest: Sister, I dont think the Lord would have a problem, under the circumstances, if we spent the night together in this one room. Ill sleep on the lounge and you have the bed. Nun: I think that would be okay. They prepare for bed and each one takes their agreed place in the room. Ten minutes later... Nun: Father, Im terribly cold. Priest: Okay, Ill get you a blanket. (He does) Ten minutes later... Nun: Father, Im still terribly cold. Priest: Okay Sister, Ill get you another blanket. (He does) Ten minutes later... Nun: Father, Im still terribly cold. I dont think the Lord would mind if we acted as man and wif e just for this one night. Priest: Youre probably right... get up and get your own blanket.
Law of Cat Inertia - A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
Law of Cat Motion - A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
Law of Cat Magnetism - All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
Law of Cat Thermodynamics - Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
Law of Cat Stretching - A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
Law of Cat Sleeping - All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.
Law of Refrigerator Observation - If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to more...
A priest and nun are on their way back home from a convention when their car breaks down. They are unable to get repairs completed and it appears that they will have to spend the night in a motel. The only motel in his town has only one room available so they have a minor problem.
PRIEST: Sister, I don't think the Lord would have a problem, under the circumstances, if we spent the night together in this one room. I'll sleep on the couch and you take the bed.
SISTER: I think that would be okay.
They prepare for bed and each one takes their agreed place in the room. Ten minutes later...
SISTER: Father, I'm terribly cold.
PRIEST: Okay, I'll get up and get you a blanket from the closet. Ten minutes later...
SISTER: Father, I'm still terribly cold.
PRIEST: Okay Sister, I'll get up and get you another blanket. Ten minutes later...
SISTER: Father, I'm still terribly cold. I don't think the Lord would mind if we acted as man and wife just for this one more...