Blanket Jokes / Recent Jokes

A doctor had just delivered twins. They were a boy and a girl.
The head nurse brought them out for their father to see.
He could hardly believe his good fortune. The girl baby had a pink blanket wrapped around her and the boy baby was enclosed in a blue blanket. He took one step forward just so he could touch the babies and believe they had finally arrived.
As he started to touch them the nurse took a step backwards and said, "You can't touch those babies. You aren't sterile!"
With out missing a beat, he retorted "You're telling ME I'm not sterile?!"

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."
The man leans out and with a glint in his eye said "I've got a better idea. .. let's pretend we're married."
"Why not," giggles the woman.
"Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."

There is a brunnette a blonde and a redhead trying to escape a burning building. The fireman are down at the bottom telling them to jump. The blonde jumps and they pull the blanket away. She falls flat on her face and dies. Now the firemen are yelling at the brunnette to jump. She says ohhhhhhhhhh no dont you think that im stupid enough to jump . you are going to pull the blanket away. The firemen said no its blondes that we cant resist. The brunnette jumps and they pull the blanket away. SWOOSH. The firemen tell the blonde to jump now and she says no you are going to pull the blanket away. She says put the blanket down and walk away from it.

A man and woman who had never met before found themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.
After the initial embarrassment, they both went to sleep, the man on the top bunk, the woman on the lower.
In the middle of the night, the man leaned over, woke the woman and said, "I'm terribly sorry to disturb you, but I'm awfully cold and was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket?"
The woman leaned out and, with a glint in her eye, said, "I have a much better idea. Just for tonight, why don't we pretend we're married?"
Feeling the excitement build up in him, the man replied, "Ok! That sounds like a great idea."
"Good... get your own damn blanket!" she replied.

A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in. The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away. The Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.
"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!" say the firemen to the Redhead. "Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead. "No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!" "OK," says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake. Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell, "Jump! You have to jump!"
"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde.
"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the more...

A doctor had just delivered twins. They were a boy and a girl. The head nurse brought them out for their father to see. He could hardly believe his good fortune. The girl baby had a pink blanket wrapped around her and the boy baby was enclosed in a blue blanket. He took one step forward just so he could touch the babies and believe they had finally arrived. As he started to touch them the nurse took a step backwards and said, "You can`t touch those babies. You aren`t sterile!" With out missing a beat, he retorted "You`re telling ME I`m not sterile?!"

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the man on the top bunk, the woman on the lower.

In the middle of the night the man leans over, wakes the woman and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket?"

The woman leans out and, with a glint in her eye, says, " I have a better idea, just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

The man says happily, "OK!" AWESOME!"

The woman says, "GOOD. ...get your own dang blanket!!!"