Blanket Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into.The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH the firemen yank the blanket away...the Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato."C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the Redhead."Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead."No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!""OK" says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell "Jump! You have to jump!""No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde.No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket more...

A man returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi at the airport after midnight. While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having an affair, and expected to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed to be a witness.
Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into the bedroom. The husband flipped on the lights, pulled the blanket back and there was his wife in bed with another man.
The husband put his gun to the man`s head, and the wife shouted "Don`t do it! This man has been very generous. Who do you think paid for the Corvette I said I bought for you? He did! Who do you think paid for our new cabin cruiser? He did! Who do you think pays our monthly country club dues you believe I budget for?.. . He does!"
The husband, looked over at the cab driver and asked, "What would you do?"
The cabby said, "I`d cover him with that blanket before more...

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde climb to the roof to escape a burning building. The firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into.
"Jump!" they yell to the brunette. "It's your only chance."
The brunette jumps and SWISH! They pull the blanket away, causing her to slam into the sidewalk like a tomato.
"Jump! You have to jump!" they yell to the redhead.
"No way!" she yells back. "You're going to pull the blanket away."
"No! Don't worry," they reply. "It's brunettes we can't stand. We're fine with redheads."
"OK," says the redhead and she jumps. SWISH! Again they pull the blanket away and she's flattened like a pancake on the sidewalk.
Finally, the blonde steps to the edge of the roof. "Jump! It's your only chance," the firemen yell.
"Not a chance!" screams the blonde. "You're just going to pull the blanket more...

A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into.The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!"The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away...theBrunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato."C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the Redhead."Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead."No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!""OK" says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell "Jump! You have to jump!""No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde."No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket more...

A kid once asked his Mommy ..what is that? pointing to her private part, she relpied thats the gate!
The other day he asked another silly question to his Father, Whats that Daddy? poiting to his private part, he said...thats the BMW ..my dear son!
Later that night, the kid couldnt sleep and kindly ask to join them in bed...
Both parents said sure, jump in but dont look under the blanket!
The kid decided to see whats under the Blanket...and he yelled out
"MOMMY, MOMMY ..open the Gate, the BMW coming!"

A man and a woman who have never met before find
themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.
After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep,
the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over,
wakes the man and says,"I`m sorry to bother you,
but I`m awfully cold and I was wondering,
if you could possibly get me another blanket."
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye,
says, "I`ve got a better idea.. just for tonight,
let`s pretend we`re married."
The woman thinks for a moment. "Why not," she giggles.
"Great," he replies, "Get your own damn blanket!"

Mr. Johnson and his secretary are on a train to Paris. They are just about to go to sleep when the secretary, who has the hots for her boss says in a seductive voice, I'm a little cold, could I borrow your blanket? The man says how would you like to be Mrs. Johnson for awhile? The secretary jumps at the chance and begins to get out of bed. Then he replies, good, then you can get your own damn blanket.