Blindfold Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once upon a time, there lived a women who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but, unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on. So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country, she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home.
On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, she putt-putted. And, upon more...

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself' She'll never go for me carrying on like that,' so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans, and shortly after that they got married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he farted. He' putted' down one hill and' putt-putted' up the next. By the time he arrived more...

Once upon a time there lived three men: a doctor, a chemist, and an engineer. For some reason all three offended the king and were sentenced to die on the same day.The day of the execution arrived, and the doctor was led up to the guillotine.As he strapped the doctor to the guillotine, the executioner asked, "Head up or head down?""Head up," said the doctor."Blindfold or no blindfold?""No blindfold."So the executioner raised the axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade--and stopped barely an inch above the doctor`s neck. Well, the law stated that if an execution didn`t succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the doctor was set free.Then the chemist was led up to the guillotine."Head up or head down?" said the executioner."Head up.""Blindfold or no blindfold?""No blindfold."So the executioner raised his axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade--and stopped an inch above the chemist`s more...

Three English robbers went to France in a boat, hoping to rob a factory, and then make it back to England. They were robbing the factory, when the guard came in. They knocked the guard out with a slab of concrete, but they didn't realise that before the guard came to investigate, he had called the police. The robbers went out of the factory to find themselves surrounded by police.
The guard was rushed to hospital but on the way he died. The three robbers were now convicted of murder, and the punishment for that is the guillotine. The first man was asked whether he wants a blindfold, or not, and if he wanted to face up or down. He asked for the blindfold, and to face down. The blade was dropped and millimetres from his neck, it stopped.
It was customary that if you don't die on the first go, you are let free, so the first man was let free. The second man asked for a blindfold, and to face up. Again with him, the blade stopped millimetres from his neck, so he too was a free more...

The wife of an eye-doctor was having a party for her husband's 40th birthday. She had made him a special cake for the occasion. Blindfolding him, she led him to the table where it had been placed. She then told him to remove the blindfold.
Excitedly, the doctor took the blindfold off and when he looked down at the cake he began to laugh hysterically. In front of him was a huge cake with 40 marzipan eyes.
Not quite understanding why he was laughing so hard, one of the guests asked him what was so funny. After wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes, the doctor replied, "I was just thinking of my friend who will turn 50 in a couple of weeks. He's a gynecologist!"

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a maddening passion
for baked beans. He loved them, but unfortunately, they had
always had a very embarrassing, and somewhat lively effect on
him. Then, one day he met a girl and fell in love. When it
became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself,
"She is such a sweet and gentle girl, she would never go for this
carrying on." So he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up
beans.
Some months later, his car broke down on the way home from work.
Since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her
he would be late because he would have to walk home. On his way,
he passed a little diner and the odor of baked beans was more
than he could stand. Since he still had several miles to walk, he figured that he could walk off any ill effects by the time he got
home. So, he stopped at the diner. Before he knew it, he had
consumed three large helpings more...

1. Your family secretly tells you they're taking to you to Disneyland, but for some odd reason they blindfold you for the whole ride, and when they take it off the blindfold your at a psychiartirst. You start having complex dreams about Youthink and the members.
2. You start comparing your friends to the members on the site.
3. While buying lotto tickets, you have a list of your favorite member's birthdays.
4. You start remembering passages out of your term papers so that you can use them in an argument here.
5. Whenever you hear a question, you wonder if you can add it here.
6. You skipped a party with your friends so you could stay on here, drink a bottle on vodka, and pretend you are drinking with other members.
7. You start to mention this site and quoting what other members said on a thread at parties or when you get together with family/friends.
8. It's 2:30 am on a school night, and you tell yourself "just five more minutes" and 2 hours more...