Blond Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two blonds decided to go shopping. A few hours later they come out and the first blond realizes that she has locked her keys in the car, so they spent a few hours pacing around the car trying to figure out what to do. Finally, the first blond looked off into the distance and saw storm clouds. She turned to her friend and said, "Quick, think of something because a storm is coming and I left the top open!"
Three men, two brunettes and a blond, are being chased by a tiger through the jungle. They get to a river and have two choices: 1. Get across the river without being eaten by pirannhas or 2. Get eaten by the tiger.
They spot a genie and the genie says I can grant you one wish..
The first blond man thinks "I wish I can get across safely." He swims across and makes it without a scratch.
The second blond man says "I want to be even smarter than the first man." He climbed onto a raft and paddled across.
The brunette thinks "I want to be the smartest of them all". Instantly, he turned into a woman, and she walked across a nearby bridge.
One night a Blond Nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her." My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish." "Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways." "There must be something you would have of me," said God." Well, there is one thing," she said." Just name it," said God." It's those blond jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blond jokes to stop." "Consider it done," said God. "Blond jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans. But surely there is something that I could do just for you." "There is more...
One day after a birthday party at the jumper house, a young blond told her mother:
Mommy, Mommy, I'm soooooo generous! When I was about to go into the jumpers, I found so many shoes and took them to the lost and found! Aren't I soooooo generous?
How do you drown a blond?
You put a scratch & sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.