Blow Jokes / Recent Jokes

A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar and the best man notices that the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face. The best man says,' 'Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up - you look so excited.'' The groom replies,' 'I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me.'' The bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the biggest, brightest smile on her face. The maid of honor notices this and says,' 'Hey, girlfriend, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up, you look so excited.'' The bride replies' 'I have just given the last blow job of my entire life.''

Three little boys were sitting on the porch, when one little boy says, "My Daddy smokes, and he can blow smoke rings."
The second little boy pipes up, "Well, my Dad smokes, too, and can blow smoke out of his eyes."
The third little boy, not to be outdone responds, "My Dad can blow smoke out of his butt."
"Really, have you seen it?" reply the boys.
The third boy responds, "No, but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear....."

Q. Why does the wind blow from the north in Indiana? A. Kentucky sucks.

Banta has a cross-eyed bull that keeps bumping into things. He calls up to vet to try to remedy the problem.
The vet says, "I think the best thing is to stick a pipe up his ass and blow real hard and the bulls' eyes will straighten out."
The vet - a 70 year old man - inserts the pipe and blows. The bulls' eyes begin to straighten, but the vet soon looses his breath and the bulls' eyes are crossed again. The vet gives it another try, but looses his breath again.
The vet looks at Banta and says, "You look like a strong man, why don't you give it a try."
Banta agrees. He then takes the pipe out of the bulls' ass, turns it around, and sticks it back in. He then begins to blow.
"Shit!!!" says the vet. "What in the hell did you do that for?"
Banta replies, "You don't think I am going to put my mouth on the same end of the pipe that you had your on."

Q. Why did God give men penises?
A. So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
Q. What's the difference between a paycheck and your dick?
A. You don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.
Q. What are the small bumps around a woman's' nipples for?
A. Its Braille for "suck here".
Q. Why do men die before their wives?
A. They want to.
Q. Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
A. He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
Q. Why do women have tits?
A. So men will talk to them.
Q. What's the difference between a woman and a coffin?
A. You come in one and go in the other.
Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex?
A. They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.
Q. What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?
A. Money.
Q. Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A. When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house more...

Two 13 year old boys at work meet each other in the barn, and boy#1 says, "Okay, who's going to give every cow a blowjob/' Then, boy#2 says, "I will," and boy#1 agrees to help. Boy#1 goes and gets a blowdryer. Boy#2 promptly starts sucking the cows dicks. Boy#1 comes back with a blow dryer and asks, "What are you doing?" Boy#2 says that he's giving the cow a blow job. Boy#1 says, "Oh, ok," and starts to strip Boy#2 down, and boy#2 asks, "What are you doing?" Boy#1 says, "I'm starting a treesome." Then the cow came all over Boy#2s face. Boy#1 says, "Dang!" and instead, he goes over to another cow and looks at it. It's a female. Boy#1 getS a ladder, walks up behind the cow, and starts to fuck the cow. Boy#2 gets a bigger ladder, goes behind Boy#1, and starts fucking him. Boy#1 came in the cow's ass, and at the same time, Boy#2 came in Boy#1's ass. 9 months later, the female cow had a cowman. The the father of the boys went more...

AP - Monica Lewinsky, in a statement released today, countered President Clinton's firm denial:"I have had enough. This whole experience has left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I can't stomach any more. I feel as if I am getting the shaft, that this ugly matter has come to a head and blown up in my face." "This may be a load to handle, but when things are hard, that is when I am at my best. I have faced hard things in the past, and I know what is coming. I will meet this challenge the only way that I know how: head on." "I have licked bigger things than this before, and I will again. No one will ever be able to say that Monica Lewinsky isn't a finisher, that she quit before the job was done. I will work non-stop and fight this, blow by blow, until I am wiped clean of this dirty affair. I will not be stained by it." "Thank you." Monica Lewinsky