Blow Jokes / Recent Jokes

...when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."

A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.
"I can't do that, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."
"Okay, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station."
"Can't do that either, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."
"Alright, we could get a blood sample."
"Can't do that either, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die."
"Fine then, just walk this white line."
"Can't do that either, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm drunk."

Did you ever blow bubbles as as child? Yeh, well hes back in town and wants your new number.

Instructions: For each answer, you will have three clues. Try to determine what the object or thing is that is being described. For every correct answer you give, give yourself 2 points, for every incorrect answer deduct 2 points.
If you score less than 14 points, you are in need of more sex. If you score between 14 points and 21 points, you are in need of more love. If you score over 21 points, you are classed as having a great sex experience. Now please begin.
"CLUES"
I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes.
When I'm not well, I drip.
When you blow me, you feel good.
I'm spread before I'm eaten.
Your tongue gets me off.
People sometimes lick my nuts.
I assist an erection.
Sometimes big balls hang from me.
I'm called a big swinger.
Over 1,000 people went down on me.
I wasn't maiden for long.
A big hard thing ripped me open.
You stick your poles inside me.
You tie me down to get me up.
I get wet before more...

Someone had kicked a dent in the door of the blonde's car so she took it to a mechanic to get it fixed. The mechanic thought that seeing as she was a blonde, he would joke with her. He told her to take her car home, get behind it, blow on the tail pipe and that would pop the dent out.
So she took her car home and began blowing on the tail pipe when another blonde came up to her and asked what the heck she was doing.
The blonde said, "The mechanic told me to blow on the tail pipe and that would blow the dent in the door right out."
The other blonde shook her head and said, "You dumb blonde, don't you know you have to roll the windows up first!"

Instructions: For each answer, you will have three clues. Try to determine what the object or thing is that is being described. For every correct answer you give, give yourself 2 points, for every incorrect answer deduct 2 points.If you score less than 14 points, you are in need of more sex. If you score between 14 points and 21 points, you are in need of more love. If you score over 21 points, you are classed as having a great sex experience. Now please begin."CLUES"1. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes.When I'm not well, I drip.When you blow me, I feel good.2. I'm spread before I'm eaten.Your tongue gets me off.People sometimes lick my nuts.3. I assist an erection.Sometimes big balls hang from me.I'm called a big swinger.4. Over 1,000 people went down on me.I wasn't maiden for long.A big hard thing ripped me open.5. You stick your poles inside me.You tie me down to get me up.I get wet before you do.6. When I go in I cause pain.I cause you to spit and ask you not to more...

Q: Why did the blonde give a blow job after sex? A: She wanted to have her cock and eat it too.