Blow Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three generations of hookers were sitting around the brothel one day
just talking about the business. The youngest one complained, "You
know Mom and Grandma, now guys want a blow job and a fuck for $100! I
don't think I can stay in business at those prices."
Her Mom thinks for a while and says, "Well dear, in my day we would
give a blow job and for only $25 and we considered ourselves lucky to
get that!"
Grandma looks at her daughter and her grandaughter and says, "The
both of you don't know what tough times really are. Back during the
depression we used to give blow jobs for free because we were just
glad to get something warm in our stomachs!"
Santa leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. A mile down the road, he's stopped by a police officer.
The officer walked up to the driver's side window holding a Breathalyzer and said, "Good evening sir. We're testing for drunk driving. Would you please blow into this machine?"
Santa replied, "I'm sorry, I can't do that. I have asthma. If I blow in that machine, I will get out of air."
"In that case, I'm going to have to ask you to come back to the station for a blood test."
Santa said, "I can't do that. I have anemia and if you stick a needle in me I will bleed to death".
The officer said, 'Then you'll have to get out and walk 5 yards along this white line." "Can't do that either," said Santa The officer was getting irritated. "And why not?" "Because I'm dead drunk."
Three generations of hookers were sitting around the brothel one dayjust talking about the business. The youngest one complained, "Youknow Mom and Grandma, now guys want a blow job and a fuck for $100! Idon't think I can stay in business at those prices."Her Mom thinks for a while and says, "Well dear, in my day we wouldgive a blow job and for only $25 and we considered ourselves lucky toget that!"Grandma looks at her daughter and her grandaughter and says, "Theboth of you don't know what tough times really are. Back during thedepression we used to give blow jobs for free because we were justglad to get something warm in our stomachs!"
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small World' incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, crash from side to side as if you're on rough seas.
7. Shave. (Especially if you're a woman.)
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. more...
A woman went into a pet shop to buy her husband a pet. After looking around she realized that all the pets there were very expensive. She went to the counter and questioned the clerk. "I wanted to buy my husband a pet, but all of yours are so expensive", she said.
"Well," said the clerk, "I have a huge bullfrog in the back for $50.00. Would you like to see it?"
"$50.00? For a Frog??" asked the woman.
The clerk said, "It's a special frog. It gives blow jobs." Well, the woman did not particularly enjoy giving head, so, she thought this was a heck of a deal. She'd get her husband a gift he'd surely enjoy, and she'd never have to do that again. The woman decided to buy the frog.
She took it home to her husband and explained the strange gift. Of course, the husband was a bit skeptical, but said for sure he'd try it out that night.
The woman went to bed that night relieved knowing she'd never have to give another blow more...
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, crash from side to side as if you're on rough seas.
7. Shave. (Especially if you're a woman.)
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol more...
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.7. Shave.8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them more...