Blow Jokes / Recent Jokes

Instructions: For each answer, you will have three clues. Try to determine what the object or thing is that is being described. For every correct answer you give, give yourself 2 points, for every incorrect answer deduct 2 points. If you score less than 14 points, you are in need of more sex. If you score between 14 points and 21 points, you are in need of more love. If you score over 21 points, you are classed as having a great sex experience. Now please begin." CLUES"1. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, I feel good. 2. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes lick my nuts. 3. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. 4. Over 1, 000 people went down on me. I wasn't maiden for long. A big hard thing ripped me open. 5. You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. 6. When I go in I cause pain. I cause you to spit more...

Two whales, a male and female, are swimming off the coast of Japan when the
male whale looks up and sees the whaling ship that killed his father 5 years
ago. Excited at the opportunity to avenge his father's death, the male whale
says to the female "Let's go underneath the ship and blow air through our blow
holes. That ought to knock their boat over, and make them think twice about
killing innocent whales." The female whale agrees, and the plan
works perfectly. Once the whaling ship has completely sunk, the male whale
notices that most of the sailors are making their way back to the shore by
either swimming or in lifeboats. Not willing to let them get away so easily,
the male whale yells "They're going to shore - Let's go gobble them up!" Just
then, the female whale becomes less cooperative: "HEY!", she says, "I agreed
to the blow job, but there is NO WAY I'm swallowing seamen!"

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.

Little Johnny came home from his hot date and sat down to talk with his dad. He had a smile on his face.' It must be true love, dad' he sighed.
'What makes you think that it is true love?' asks his dad.
'Well," says Little Johnny,' Suzy started out giving me the best blow job I've ever had.'
'Nah,' replied his dad,' that's not true love, it is just lust.'
The next night Little Johnny came in after his date, and sat down again to talk with his dad.' For sure it is true love, dad.' he said.
'What makes you think that it is true love this time?' asks his dad.
'Well," says Little Johnny,' Tonight Suzy gave me the best blow job of my life, then let me take her up the ass!'
'That's not true love, Johnny,' replied his dad,' that is just infatuation.'
'If what Suzy and I have is just infatuation, then what is true love?' asked Little Johnny, confused.
'Well,' says his dad,' if it was true love, she would let you f*ck her up the ass first, more...

Q: Which of the following doesnt belong: wife, meat, eggs, blow job? A: The blow job. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just cant beat a blow job.

What's the best thing about a blow job? - The 15 minutes of silence!

A boy takes his girlfriend back to her home at night, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"

"What? You're crazy???!!!"

"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."

"No!! Someone may see...a relative, a neighbor..."

"At this time of the night no one will notice."

"I've already said NO!"

"Honey, it's no big thing... I know you'd like it too."

"NO!!! I've said NO!!!"

"My love... don't be like that..."

At this moment the older sister shows up at the door in a nightgown with her hair totally in disorder, rubbing her eyes, and says, "Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God's sake tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the more...