Blowing Jokes / Recent Jokes
Blowing out another's candle will not make yours shine brighter.
Three ducks arrive at the Police station. In deciding why they’re here, a police officer goes up to the first duck and says ”What’s your name?? ” The duck replies ”Quack”. The police officer then asks ”And why are you here? ? ” The duck says ”For blowing bubbles in the pond. ” ”Blowing bubbles in the pond!! That’s illegal!! That’s a $50. 00 fine!! ” The duck agrees to pay the fine.
The police officer goes up to the second duck and says ”What’s your name?? ” The duck replies ”Quack Quack”. The police officer then asks ”And why are you here?? ” The duck says ”For blowing bubbles in the pond. ” ”Blowing bubbles in the pond!! That’s illegal!! That’s a $50. 00 fine!! ” The duck agrees to pay the fine.
The police officer goes up to the third duck and says ”And your name must be Quack Quack Quack. ” And the duck replies ”No, it’s Bubbles. ”
A blonde woman was driving her car home one night when she suddenly found herself in the middle of a really bad hail storm. The hail stones were as big as golf balls and her car gets dented up really bad. The next day she takes it in to a repair shop to have the dents looked at.
The repair guy noticing that she is blonde and quite dingy when she speaks, decides to have some fun and tells her to blow into the tail pipe of the car really hard when she gets home, and that doing this will cause all of the dents to pop out.
When she gets home she starts blowing into the tail pipe as hard as she can, over and over. Just then, her best friend who also is blonde shows up. Her friend sees her blowing into the tail pipe and is quite startled by the action. She blurts out all flippantly, "What are you doing!?"
She tells her the repair guy told her to blow into the tail pipe real hard and the dents would pop out.
Her girlfriend says "Duh! more...
One night a murder took place by a pond so the police were down there asking questions. A police officer goes up to the first duck and says state your name and where you were at the time of the murder. the duck replies my name is quack and i was down at the lake blowing bubbles. the cop goes to the next duck and says state your name and where you were at the time of the murder and the duck replies my name is quack quack and i was down at the lake blowing bubbles. the cop then goes on to the last duck and says let me guess your name is quack quack quack and you were down at the lake blowing bubbles and the duck says no i am bubbles.
Shaves head and beard, then insists on being called "Santa Kurtz."
Tells kids about the comparative kill ratio of the AK-47 over the Daisy Air Rifle.
Those nasty chewing tobacco streaks in his beard.
Has a complimentary tray of North Pole "Tundra Oysters" ready for the toddlers.
After every child's request, asks, "Wouldn't you rather have a nice big bag of clams?"
The twinkle in his eye and the twitch of his nose are due to a lack of medication.
Every so often, snaps into a Slim Jim and growls, "You've been bad and now you're going down, punk!"
Actually enjoys it when small children urinate on his lap.
Promises children O. J. will be cleared of all wrongdoing.
Caught drinking red wine with fish during break.
"Hey kid, bet I can wet my pants faster than you can!"
Insists on blowing his nose in children's hair.
Despite massive photographic evidence to the contrary, claims to more...