Blowing Jokes / Recent Jokes

Keep a special place for me in your Heart,

Not in your Mind.

Keeping me in your mind can be DANGEROUS for you.


Because People Say
I`m Mind Blowing.

Q: What do Michael Jackson and the New York Mets have in common?
A: They're both walking around with one glove on their hand for no apparent reason whatsoever!!
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in! !
Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boys' pants were half-off! !
Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: Get out of my sun!!
Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket?
A: His other hand! !
Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy! !
Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
A: There's a big wheel parked outside his house!!
Q: Heard about Michael Jackson's new songs?
A: I'm forever blowing bubbles!
Q: Why does Michael Jackson arrange for private shopping?
A: So his guests more...

The diet literature explains calories burned while jogging, playing tennis or golfing, but similar information concerning sexual activity has, until now, been unavailable. Yet, a survey of 206, 000, 000 people indicated that 96% devote more time and effort to sex than jogging, tennis, or golf, and we felt that the time was right for a new type of sex manual. EXAMPLES: 1 hr. intensive foreplay Burns Off: 1 slice (large) chocolate cake. 25 min. nonstop lovemaking Burns Off: 2 slices of pizza with cheese and mushrooms. 53 min. of kissing partner Burns Off: 1 cheeseburger with 14 french fries. 53 minutes kissing yourself Burns Off: Christmas turkey with all the trimmings. PREPARING THE BEDROOM Includes setting the snooze alarm and dimming the lights: 42 (calories burned) ADDITIONAL LAST MINUTE PREPARATIONS Hiding the sex manual: 3 Decanting the wine: 4 Without a corkscrew: 268 MAKING THE FIRST MOVE If you are shy: 15 If you are anxious: 43 If you beg: 100 SEDUCING THE PARTNER If you are more...

Shaves head and beard, then insists on being called "Santa Kurtz."
Tells kids about the comparative kill ratio of the AK-47 over the Daisy Air Rifle.
Those nasty chewing tobacco streaks in his beard.
Has a complimentary tray of North Pole "Tundra Oysters" ready for the toddlers.
After every child's request, asks, "Wouldn't you rather have a nice big bag of clams?"
The twinkle in his eye and the twitch of his nose are due to a lack of medication.
Every so often, snaps into a Slim Jim and growls, "You've been bad and now you're going down, punk!"
Actually enjoys it when small children urinate on his lap.
Promises children O.J. will be cleared of all wrongdoing.
Caught drinking red wine with fish during break.
"Hey kid, bet I can wet my pants faster than you can!"
Insists on blowing his nose in children's hair.
Despite massive photographic evidence to the contrary, claims to have never worn more...

There are four guys in the park who get arrested for blowing bubbles. In the court room one guy comes in, the judge says, "who are you and what are you charged with"??" I'm duck and i got charged for blowing bubbles in the park". 2nd one comes in, " who are you and what are you charged with"?" I'm duck duck and i was charged for blowing bubbles in the park". 3rd one comes in." Who are you and what were you charged with"?" I'm duck duck duck and i was charged for blowing bubbles in the park". 4th one comes in judge says "let me guess, your duck duck duck duck, and charged for blowing bubbles in the park?" "NO, he says... I'm bubbles!!".

There are four guys in the park who get arrested for blowing bubbles.
In the court room one guy comes in, the judge says, "who are you and what are you charged with"??
"I'm duck and i got charged for blowing bubbles in the park".
2nd one comes in, " who are you and what are you charged with"?
"I'm duck duck and i was charged for blowing bubbles in the park".
3rd one comes in." Who are you and what were you charged with"?
"I'm duck duck duck and i was charged for blowing bubbles in the park".
4th one comes in judge says "let me guess, your duck duck duck duck, and charged for blowing bubbles in the park?"
"NO, he says...I'm bubbles!!".

There are four guys in the park who get arrested for blowing bubbles. In the court room one guy comes in, the judge says, "who are you and what are you charged with"??"I'm duck and i got charged for blowing bubbles in the park".2nd one comes in, " who are you and what are you charged with"?"I'm duck duck and i was charged for blowing bubbles in the park".3rd one comes in." Who are you and what were you charged with"?"I'm duck duck duck and i was charged for blowing bubbles in the park".4th one comes in judge says "let me guess, your duck duck duck duck, and charged for blowing bubbles in the park?""NO, he says...I'm bubbles!!".